Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

Thank you all for visiting this year and humoring my ponderings. Thanks for the comments and feedback. May we all have a very HEALTHY, HAPPY, and PROSPEROUS 2012 and may we continue to bless those who come into our lives. Positivity, Purpose, and Prosperity! Gets go!

I have determined that I was meant to be taken care. I am still out of town and I could get used to this. All I have to do is straighten up the house and do my own thing. I am feeling better. Maybe because it is so quiet and relaxing. I honestly think that Gil Scott Heron was onto something, "New York is Killing Me." I need to find a man who will make my life easier and save me from New York. I have to get out in 2012. On the agenda today, go out and take pictures with my new camera and dinner tonight. Might go hang out with the cool people at Busboys & Poets. Tomorrow I will drive back up the the road. Hope to finally get a burrito from Guapos since I still have this unsatisfied burrito craving.

My friend gave me a nice Canon digital camera that his ex gave him and he didn't know how to work. I am so psyched! I took it for a test drive this afternoon and I am in love! It is just what I've been wanting! Posting pics below. So so blessed! Tried uploading the pictures twice, but they disappeared. May or may not try again tomorrow. 

In Washington, D.C. this Christmas. No snow which is fine by me. Not feeling very Christmasy, but going through the motions. Sent flowers for my cousin's memorial. Fares were too high to fly out the week between Christmas and New Years. Supastar sent me the annual Christmas text message. I am still deciding if I will respond. I haven't been responding to his messages this year. Not sure where I stand with him. Deep in my heart, I do believe I still love him deeply. But, is love enough? Sitting in front of the TV watching "The Wiz." Feeling blessed. Not focused on the future right now. Just know I have to make a job change in 2012. Need to feel alive and appreciated.

My cousin passed today. Sending her light and peace as she makes her journey to the next destination.

If a Man Wants You Nothing new but a gentle reminder. I gave up begging a man to stay with me years ago.

One can only dream that one day my prince will come! She looks beautiful.

I bought Christmas Cards, but haven't sent them out yet. Wondering if I should even bother at this point. I guess I could do them on the bus ride tomorrow, but then they won't make it where they are going by Christmas.

So, the plan is to go to D.C. and have dinner at a friend of a friend's house. Not really feeling that plan, but don't want to back out at the last minute. I already don't really like spending Christmas away from home, but the alternative is to stay home and spend (yet another) Christmas alone. In the past I didn't mind. I was so whipped from work I didn't want to go anywhere. This year I have been on that vitamin regime and I slept from Friday until today. I was going to catch the train, but it has black out dates. Hmmm. Interesting choice of words. I was going to drive, but it is such a hassle to bother with parking. So, I decided on Bolt Bus. I am very apprehensive as I've had some crazy bus experiences in the past. I've heard positive things about Bolt, so I have to trust it will be good. A round trip for less than $40. Cheaper than driving when you factor in gas and tolls.  Manifesting a very positive travel experience. So, that means the petsitter will...

I am still very disturbed by the imagery of this situation . I couldn't imagine loving someone enough to give up my own life. Talk about being a loyal younger brother! What is particularly haunting are his final words, "Love ya' bro." Within an hour he was dead. How on earth does his brother live with that for the rest of his life? Was it worth it? He still has to go to jail and he no longer has his loyal little brother to pal around with. It couldn't have been worth it. What does the rest of the family think of this selfish individual?

When did it become "fun" to tear down others?  Or has it always been? Nowadays if someone doesn't criticize something it was boring. We have become so critical of everything! People's weight, hair style, marriage choice, shoes, vocal ability, you name it we can tear into it. Perhaps I am romanticizing, but it seems back in the day we glorified stars and celebrities. They could do no wrong. They would be on stage loaded out of their minds, and we still loved them. Now, let them crack a note and we are all over them like peanut butter on Wonder Bread. Chaka Khan was a mess, but we loved her messy little self. Yet, Jennifer Hudson can do no right. Whether she is a size 3 or a size 33 they will always criticize her for something, anything, everything. Why? She was a girl from the Southside of Chicago with a dream. She had an opportunity. She made the best of that opportunity. Why do we insist on splashing her with haterade every chance we get? She is doing all of the th...

Bill Withers makes me happy. I love his music!

I am claiming 2012 as my year! This is year that I will make major changes that will move me to the next plateau. I need to stop spinning my wheels and get out of here! It's time!

I thought I would escape the annual holiday blues, but I guess I was wrong. My aunt invited to California and I couldn't get myself together enough to go. Now I regret it. I am going to visit a friend for a few days. I hope that keeps the blues at bay. My cousin is dying. She was my mother's baby cousin. She didn't tell me she had cancer. I am feeling upset about that. I only found out from my other cousin. I knew that she was very sick. I also knew that she was very tired. I release her so she doesn't have to suffer anymore. There is nothing left to do and she has given up. I want to keep my memories of her as the vivacious person she is/was. She is a firecracker and she lived life according to her terms. God bless her and should she make another recovery, God keep her in comfort until you are ready for her.

A little cousin posted a picture of a plate on Facebook. She wrote something like, 'See, I'm not just a pretty face. I can cook too.' Now, let me tell you what I saw. Some kind of unidentifiable protein (chicken?), Kraft mac and cheese (trademark straight macaroni and neon yellow coloring) and canned string beans (again, trademark cut and color).  Is that considered cooking? I cook from cans too, but if I can cook fresh or frozen it is preferred. I think it is unacceptable that restaurants cook from cans. When you go to a restaurant, you want freshly prepared food that you wouldn't take the time to prepare yourself at home. I bring this up because a friend contacted me to say someone was visiting from out of town and wanted to eat at Sylvia's. Now, I'm not trying to knock Sylvia's, but people have complained that her food over the last few years (OK, maybe 20 years) has primarily come from cans. Now, this isn't too far fetched since she does have a l...

I am in the midst of change. I know. I know. I say it all the time. But my spirit was so restless yesterday. Ready to make moves. Big moves. Ready for the next adventure. With that comes the realization that I need to know what it is I want exactly. I needed to remember who I was so that I can become who I want to be. I feel like I am living a life that isn't mine. Like I am living someone else's life. It doesn't fit. I make it work to the best of my ability because that is what I do, but it is not healthy - spiritually or physically. So, who am I? I am a simple woman who likes the simple things in life. I got to thinking about this now that the holiday season is in full swing. Invitation to these swanky New York events where everyone is so superficial with their expensive clothes, gadgets, and made up lifestyles. It was fun when I first came to New York, but hell, I've been her for years now and I long for the mundane. I'm the one who gets up leisurely on a...

Seeing a family that is STRUGGLING have huge smiles on their faces when "Santa"  brought gifts. Who says money can't buy happiness? 

So, two holiday parties in two nights. Both of them a bust in my opinion! So bored! I am so ready to live a life of vigor! Upward and onward!

Metro - Suzanne Hart: Advertising worker killed in elevator accident I am so sad. I don't like turning other people's personal tragedies into life lessons, but this story definitely reminds me to stay prayed up and guard my thoughts. I pray that Suzanne had good thoughts before she stepped foot into that elevator. She had no idea it would be the last time she would walk into work. It was probably a mundane Wednesday and her mind was probably clouded with all that needed to get done that day. I pray her thoughts were positive and not of the dreaded work day ahead variety that we are so often plagued with. I pray that she was in shock and didn't experience one of the worst deaths imaginable. I pray her soul is eternally at peace and her hard work paid off. I pray her family finds comfort in the settlement that is sure to come from this terrible tragedy. I am going to pray now and thank God for His blessings. I am going to pray now and ask God to guard my thoughts as I finish ...

I could definitely go for brunch today! Hungry, but still sleepy. Did not sleep well the past couple of nights. Top of my list this weekend: Clean laundry wrap gifts Write Christmas cards I probably won't put the tree up until next week (if then.) I tend to leave the tree up entirely too long. I won't say how long is too long because is embarrassing. Happy holidays!

Since summer I have changed my diet to a more plant based diet. That has included slowly eliminating diary from my diet as well. I have noticed positive changes. My skin, which had deteriorated over the last couple of years, has improved significantly. My weight has maintained (though I want to lose). My energy has increased (when I take my vitamin and supplements daily).  I have less mucus and phlegm in my body so I am less congested and getting sick less often and for shorter bouts. As an added bonus, my periods, which had been getting progressively worse over the years, are lighter and less painful. Since we are moving into the colder season, I have been adding meat back into my diet for dinner. I notice that the more meat I eat, the heavier and more painful my periods are. It also has an impact on my body odor and breath. I have virtually no odor when I don't eat meat. Conclusion, vegetarian is the way to go to for me. I can't be a strict vegetarian, and I still need t...

I have been deep in thought about what the next step will be...I feel like I am not yet ready to make a leap into a different stream. Lately as you know I've really been wanting to make the move across the river to Jersey, but I would still be working in this community. Lately, the thought of moving back to Brooklyn has been heavy on my mind. Been pulling at me. Seems there is so much culture going on in Brooklyn. Not that there isn't culture here. The grass always seems greener on the other side. What I know for sure is that I need a fresh start!

Went to the strangest funeral ever today Still working on building a winter wardrobe Treated myself to a nice lunch today with views of the river Rude employees in stores burn me up I felt better today (physically and mentally) than I have felt in a long time I think my vitamin regimen is finally kicking in Adding pads, cushions, and arch support to your shoes is the best thing you can do for yourself Sometimes we think we are suffering from serious ailments and do more damage by taking pain relievers rather than finding the source of the dis-ease I really hope I can stay motivated and energized through the long, dark winter months Lately I've been like a child, not wanting to go to bed at bedtime Today I went shopping mostly for other people's kids I did buy a few things for myself!  I am tired of looking run down It's time to make a change (as Michael Jackson would say) I need to make some decisions FAST about 2012 Jill Scott has a right to be pissed about ...