Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

Take a peek at this tongue in cheek article that appeared in the NY Press titled " Mumblers Beware ".

Anyone who has ever passed through Harlem, no matter how briefly, can attest to the perils of walking along 125th with the slightest hint of nap in your kitchen. You are assulted by every African woman within two feet of you with the question...."Hair braid, miss? I give you good price." Ah, the sounds of summer in Harlem. Fortunately I have a braider who I have used for about least five years now. She is an excellent braider recommended by my model friend, Angela, and I ALWAYS get compliments on the braids that she does. She is probably the best braider in her little spot on 125th. She is professional, hardworking and courteous. She also gives me "good price". Over the years though her little spot has gone down the tubes. When I first went there it wasn't fancy but at least they kept it clean. Then the women started having babies like field mice and pretty soon I couldn't tell if the spot was a hair braiding shop or a day care. They have more kids running ...

I have suddenly been struck with the urge for a crispy, juicy, delicious apple.

Yesterday was pleasantly warm which was nice because I had a number of errands to run. First and foremost on my list was a visit to the dentist -- again. The last time I didn't get to see the dentist because I was a few minutes late for my appointment so I just got a cleaning. This time after a set of x-rays the dentist came in the room, stuck his fingers in my mouth and said, "you're not having any problems are you?" I said I was having a little sensitivity and he stated I needed to meet with the periodontist for a deep cleaning. Ugh! No tools, no instruments, no poking and prodding around, no ripping apart my gums. I'm not sure if I should trust him. As it turns out they have to get approval from the insurance company and that will take 4-6 weeks. In that period of time, I won't be covered under the same insurance (if any) so that was a moot point. I'll just have to be more diligent about my twice daily brushing , flossing and rinsing with Listerine . ...

The break in the weather was a welcomed relief. The hot, sticky weather we have been having has been taking it's toll. This morning the most delicious breeze blew in my bedroom window. That's more like it! In my email this morning I received the following message from someone I worked with a number of years ago on a show. She played Evilene in "The Wiz." I saw that she was a contestant on the show from watching one of the entertainment shows so tune in if you can. This chick is fabulous...she has done impressive things with her career thus far. You will recognize her (san hair) from major advertising campaigns on TV and in print. *click on the links for pictures* *****VCR & DVD ALERT!!!!***** Hey Friends! Please be sure to tune in and watch me and 9 other finalists from all over the United States compete for the title of Miss F.A.T. (Fabulous and Thick...don't get it twisted!) in the 1st EVER Reality/Beauty Competition called Mo'Nique's Fat Cha...

OMG, it was hot enough to fry an egg on the pavement today! Temps in the metro area were teetering and even surpassing the 100 degree mark. The city pools are supposed to stay open an hour later until 8 p.m. tonight to offer heat relief. I had to close my windows because hot air was blowing in from outside! Fortunately, severe thunderstorms are forecast and we should be able to get some relief from the heat. I'm not big on thunderstorms but if they promise to cool things off then bring them on!

You're torn between two very strong impulses. One side of you wants to shout your news to the world. The other can't stand the thought of letting a soul know even half of what's going on inside you. Until you find a way to bring those warring factions to a happy compromise internally, do what you can to ensure that the battle isn't obvious externally. In other words, keep your chin up and your mouth closed. 7/26/05

The other day while I was in The Body Shop on 125th, I noticed a sign at the cash register soliciting cell phone donations for an organization that helps battered and abused women. All you have to do is bring your old cell phone to the store and they will send it to the organization or recycle it. Since I have a couple of old cells sitting around collecting dust I thought it was a great idea since there are so many women out there who are suffering in silence at the hands of abusers . A simple donation of an old cell might actually be the life line for a women and/or her children trapped in a domestic violence situation. This is a nationwide initiative by The Body Shop through August 15th but if the store nearest you doesn't accept donations then donate directly to this organization . It is a great way to give back to others. We love to say "it will never happen to me" but sometimes it does happen to you or someone close to you. If you find yourself in an abusive rel...

IT'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE IT'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND YOU'RE JUST GETTING IN YOU KNOCK ON THE FRONT DOOR AND A VOICE SWEET AND LOW SAYS "WHO IS IT?" SHE OPENS UP THE DOOR AND LETS YOU IN NEVER ONCE ASKS WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SHE SAYS "ARE YOU HUNGRY? DID YOU EAT YET? LET ME HANG UP YOUR COAT PASS ME YOUR HAT" ALL THE TIME SHE'S SMILING NEVER ONCE RAISES HER VOICE IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING YOU DON'T GIVE IT A SECOND THOUGHT IT'S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE (REPEAT) THE SWEETEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD COULD BE THE MEANEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD IF YOU MAKE HER THAT WAY YOU KEEP HURTING HER SHE'LL KEEP BEING QUIET SHE MIGHT BE HOLDING SOMETHING INSIDE THAT'LL REALLY, REALLY HURT YOU ONE DAY

Riding the bus uptown one day, I sat minding my business until we approached the stop at 116th and 7th Avenue. At this point the bus ride goes from being uneventful to straight ghetto. A man gets on the bus and informs the bus driver that he'd lost his metrocard and he just needed to ride up a few blocks. He sat in the set of sits across from the driver. A thin young woman had entered the bus at the same stop and she sat behind the driver, across from the man who didn't have his fare. The man begins to lament about old age and informed no one in particular that he'd recently turned 42 years old. Then he begins telling some convoluted tale about his wife and a car incident. At this point the story starts to go awry. Next thing you know he is trying to hit on the thin woman asking her 21 questions. She politely nodded her head and humored him until he asked what she did for a living. She then asked him, "are you taking a survey or something?" When the man ...

IF YOUR HEART ISN'T IN IT (Hamish Stuart) Atlantic Starr It's a fragile situation It could fall apart at any time And none would be the wiser 'Cept you and I It seems that we stopped talking like we're afraid to disagree And after we've been through Can we still be that naive [Chorus:] If your heart isn't in it, why can't you tell me so If my heart wasn't in it, I'd have gone long ago If your heart isn't in it why keep me hanging on Just tell me and I'll be gone from your life You treat me like a stranger as if I wasn't there Oh, baby, I waited for a miracle To make you show that you care [Chorus:] If your heart isn't in it, why can't you tell me so If my heart wasn't in it, I'd have gone long ago If your heart isn't in it why keep me hanging on Just tell me and I'll be gone from your life If your heart isn't in it why can't... I can't go through the motions I have to know If your heart isn't in it....

The falling out of lovers is the renewing of love. -Robert Burton Surround yourself with love. Though this may seem to you the most impossible emotion to experience in the first stages following a separation, it is to become your course of action when you realize that love is the key to your control of self and to the door that is opening toward your new reality. Love is what brought you into your relationship and love is the power that will lead you to the meaningful resolution of your situation. This decision to love must first take effect with reference to yourself and to the person from whom you are separating. You must love yourself for those qualities which brought you into the realm of that other person: your willingness to give of yourself and to take the risk of being hurt. And to love the other person in spite of the pain you are feeling is to allow that person the same freedom you will both need in order to move on. Love is a force that renews us and prepares us for tomorro...

The universe has decided to send you on a trip. It might be an actual, physical trip to some place you've always dreamed of going, or it might be a trip down Memory Lane. Either way, once you're on the road, you'll be glad that you went along for the ride. It's good to get away from it all, and you're due -- no, overdue. Why not invite someone else along? You may be able to create some memories that you'll share forever.

This past weekend I found myself on the East side of town wandering about aimlessly. It was a drizzly day that slowly slipped into a damp and foggy evening. The streets were slick with rain that reflected the rainbow of city lights. A misty haze hung over me like a soft blanket settling halfway between the heavens and earth. I found myself in front of Blooming.dales and decided to make a sharp left onto 60th Street heading towards 2nd Avenue. A crowd was gathered in front of a small shop about halfway up the block. Turns out they were waiting to dine at the world reknown Serendipity . I ventured farther up the block to discover the Roosevelt Island tram . I always wondered where it was and what it might be like to suspend precariously over the city. Although the weather wasn't ideal for sightseeing, it was still quite a thrill to be whisked up over the city and carried high above the Queensboro bridge. Directly across the street from the tram is the Tramway Diner that is y...

Forgive me for posting so many "place holders" lately. I have been meaning to post "real" entries and I even have some tucked away waiting to be published but I am in the process of doing some self-examination and internal housekeeping. There are some changes on the horizon. I am prepared to deal with them as I always have but I've needed to reflect on the past few months to figure out how I wound up in my current predicament and how to not find myself here again. Upon examination I realized that it was to be expected. A storm has been brewing for a while and it finally hit landfall. I've been clear about what I've wanted for a long time. Three years ago I wrote the following: I am discovering so much about what I value in a man. Someone who respects woman and honors us. Someone who knows himself well enough to admit his weaknesses. Smart and intelligent, yet humble enough to admit when he is wrong. Sensitive, caring, romantic, resourceful, understanding...

7/20/05 There's something you can do now that will add to both your emotional and financial security. It might be taking classes, which you've probably been thinking about a lot lately, or moving to a place that better suits your needs, or making a change in your relationship status. Regardless of which life department the change occurs within, you know what you need to do. Get busy. Your future is waiting.

"It's too hot to be depressed over shit - that's what the winter is for!" source "The fact that the adult American Negro female emerges a formidable character is often met with amazement, distaste and even belligerance. It is seldom accepted as an inevitable outcome of the struggle won by survivors, and deserves respect if not enthusiastic acceptance." -Maya Angelou "Generosity is another quality which, like patience, letting go,non-judging, and trust, provides a solid foundation for mindfulness practice. You might experiment with using the cultivation of generosity as a vehicle for deep self-observation and inquiry as well as an exercise in giving. A good place to start is with yourself. See if you can give yourself gifts that may be true blessings, such as self-acceptance, or some time each day with no purpose. Practice feeling deserving enough to accept these gifts without obligation-to simply receive from yourself, and from the universe." -Jo...

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand and nothing, whoa nothing is going right. Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest nights. You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am I'll come running, oh yeah baby to see you again. Winter, spring , summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a friend. If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds and that old north wind should begin to blow Keep your head together and call my name out loud and soon I will be knocking upon your door. You just call out my name and you know where ever I am I'll coming running to see you again. Winter, Spring, summer or fall all you got to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold. They'll hurt you and desert you. Well they'll take your soul if you let them. ...

I wish that I could erase your pain. I wish that I could reach into your soul and relieve the pressure that has built up like an inflammed boil deep under the surface, tender to the touch and ready to explode in a massive, messy release. I wish that my love were enough to soothe you. I wish that I didn't need to feel loved in return. I wish that I could help you let go of the past. I wish I didn't have to watch you suffer in silence. I wish I didn't have to suffer helplessly at your side. I wish that my love were enough to heal your pain. I wish that I could lay inside your arms and feel secure. I wish that we could exist in peace and harmony. I wish that you could look at me with passion and desire. I wish that you could tell me how you feel. I wish that a compliment didn't mean so much to me. I wish that you would surprise me every once in a while. I wish that you didn't find it hard to love me. I wish I could have been everything you hoped for. I wish that my own...

So, I had this bright idea to sell back my useless Spanish books from a couple of semesters ago. I was under the impression that I would get half the money back and since I spent nearly $100.00 for two used books, half would have been a nice chunk of change to get back. So, I packed the books up, wiped them off and traipsed my happy arse down to Hun.ter to collect my money. Now, regular readers know that nothing at Hun.ter is that easy. First off they requested an ID card before I could even sell back the books. I happened to have it on me and the process began. Guess how much money I would have gotten back for the book? Keep in mind that I paid close to $100.00. The text would have gotten me $5.00 and the workbook $4.00.! Bull.sheets man! I was tempted to just take the $9.00 and run with it but if they wind up using the same text in the Fall the buy backs will go back up to half. Hmmmm $50.00 or $9.00. What do you think? A typical day up at Hun.ter. Let's not even t...

I have a lot to blog about but I am too tired thanks to Siddity and this post . I'll try to get it together after a nice long nap. Just know that this spot ain't no joke.

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your f ace Alanis Morrisette: "Ironic" The other day I wrote about a free yoga and pilates class being offered by this company ( don't go to the Westside Studio!) Well, I wound up going to meet up with my friend and a former co-worker of hers that we had lunch with the previous weekend. When I arrived, my friend had already gone into the studio for the meditation class. Right behind me came her former co-worker and right behind her was someone she had invited. Since we had all arrived too late for the meditation class and too early for the yoga classes, we sat and chatted. The co-worker,*Jayda, and her church friend *Choirboy mostly talked amongst themselves while I tried to settle my mind and spirit in the nice relaxing waiting area they had c...

Sometimes change is needed but you want to hold on in spite of the writing on the wall. The need to change or let go can be obvious, inevitable and the signs are everywhere to be seen and heard. You may be resisting it with all your might in fear of the unknown or the need to have what's comfortable and familiar remain status quo. A train could be coming your way warning you to stop procrastinating...stop being silent...stop closing your eyes...stop the craziness in your life...stop resisting the cycles of life...stop putting yourself in harm's way...stop allowing the enemy to trick you...stop focusing your time and energy on the wrong priorities...stop and get off the tracks. Or unexpected change can hit you on the blind side and you say to yourself, "I didn't even see that coming!" A big question is why do so many people stay on the tracks when they see a train coming? I think it's because individuals inherently despise change or they think they can control ...

I discovered this healthy recipe for Red Beans and Rice . I was thinking that you could also add liquid smoke flavor to the beans if you are a veg and if you aren't you should certainly add a pack of ham hocks or smoked turkey to make it taste more authentic . Louisiana style calls for hot or smoked sausage added to pot towards the end of the cooking process. Be sure to make it nice and spicy by adding creole seasoning and red cayenne pepper . There are other secret ingredients that are added but most cooks won't share what they are. It's typically something very simple and you need only add a little bit to wake up most dishes. I like to add a little bit of ketchup to my bowl of rice and beans with a splash of hot sauce. Bon Appetit!

Word has it that the very elusive Black New Yorker has been seen around town. Hopefully she will find time to update her blog soon. I would love to hear about her adventures and the many fabulous bargains that she finds around the city.

Everyone has been talking about yoga lately. I remember my mom used to do yoga when I was a child but I never got into it. I am considering checking out a free class on Tuesday night for yoga and pilates here . I already have my mat.

I am considering trading in my current cellie for this model . If anyone has used it I would love to hear your first hand opinion about drawbacks and benefits of this model. Cnet seems to think it is decent product and admittedly it is certainly a step up from the basic little piece of hardware I am currently working with. The thing that pissed me off about my carrier (that will remain nameless) is that they gave me $100 off the phone and they offered a $50.00 mail-in rebate which would have left a few dollars to the consumer after taxes. Instead of giving the customer the extra $$ left over for the inconvenience of having to wait six weeks for the rebate money, some wise guy figures that the consumer will pay $50.00 for the phone (although the difference between the price and the $100 off was less) and they would just sit around waiting for the $50.00 to come back in the mail so the phone will be free. Who wants to pay $50.00 for a phone when you could be paying say $30 and some ch...

Women, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling? Check these out!!! What's next? How about sending an email to someone you know who needs them. Want more? Go here and here .

This could very well be an instant replay of yesterday, complete with all the drama -- or even melodrama. The good news is that by the time night arrives, you'll most likely be enjoying an equally romantic experience with the person you were with last night. Oh, and if you weren't with them -- if you were just thinking about them -- you likely have the chance to turn that fantasy into a lovely reality.

It is amazing what staying cooped up inside can do to change your perspective on the world. I went for my dental appointment this morning and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Granted I only got a cleaning because I was too late to see the dentist so I had to make another appointment to get the check up. The appointment they made is for two and half weeks from now. Did I mention I had to wait over two months for the appointment I had today. Although the woman who cleaned my teeth didn't seem too concerned about the areas I was pointing out, I am still a little nerveous about the dentist -- very rarely have they sent me skipping off with a good work. "Your teeth are fantastic...keep up the good work!" I am also quite lazy about taking those extra steps to ensure good dental health. Granted, I do brush my teeth and I try to do a thorough job but admittedly I will rush through the job if I am running late in the morning and to top it off I will nore likely than not...

I've mainly been keeping a low profile these days holed up inside my apartment since my vacation started. The past few days I have been in pain but it is slowly subsiding and I am pushing myself to do what needs to be done. Today I finally got out of the apartment if only to go to the grocery store for a few necessities. I have been feeling domesticated lately and have been treating my sweetheart to home cooked dinners now that I am not working. I have discovered that taking my time to cook makes a huge difference in the end product. Rushing is practically a guaranteed culinary mess. The fact that I was really out of practice makes a difference as well. I must be getting old because for the first time I actually miss the fact that I have to get up and be somewhere every day. The first week of vacation I found myself getting up early and shuffling around but as the second week rolled around I started getting lazier and lazier. Partially it was due to the fact that I wasn...

Don't quit because you're alone. Don't quit because it's tough. Don't quit because you're out of your comfort zone. Don't quit because you're mad. Don't quit because you're sad. Don't quit because no one seems to help or care. Don't quit because it's taking so long. Don't quit because you see no reward. Don't quit because you think it's too late. Don't quit...stick with it. Speak victory into your life. Speak success into your life. Speak determination into your life. Speak love into your life. Speak strength and courage into your life. As you learn to clear your mind of stress, let go and grow in faith, action and perseverance, I believe something great is about to happen in your life. God says in Isaiah 43, "I will make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." So take in the joy of living and giving. Get up and stand strong on His promises. Get ready for a breakthrough. A new season is here. I...

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