Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

I did something that was really selfish. And I don't feel bad about it. I'm so sick of feeling indebted to people. It is taking  toll on my soul. The thing about vacations is that they remind you what feeds your soul. I need to feed my soul. I spent the day job hunting. I need to have something lined up by April. This is my mission.

I returned to New York on Thursday. What should have been a 4 hour trip turned into around 7 hours. Of course when I am driving I like to lolligag, but the real issue was traffic. It was horrible trying to find a river crossing from New Jersey into New York that was less than an hour wait. I normally take the G.W. Bridge into the city, but I'd heard on the radio that there was an hour delay so I opted to take one of the tunnels instead. I am not a fan of tunnels. What I didn't know at the time was that the tunnels also had an hour wait. I would have preferred to take the bridge had I known that. In any event I took the Lincoln tunnel in and sat, and puttered, and idled as the sun began to set over the Manhattan. The skyline was stunning, but I was ready to be home at that point. Once I was in the tunnel, we continued to sit in stop and go traffic. At this point, I began to get sick from the carbon monoxide building up from the exhaust fumes and started to have a panic attack....

I am claiming 2012 as my year! This is year that I will make major changes that will move me to the next plateau. I need to stop spinning my wheels and get out of here! It's time!

I am in the midst of change. I know. I know. I say it all the time. But my spirit was so restless yesterday. Ready to make moves. Big moves. Ready for the next adventure. With that comes the realization that I need to know what it is I want exactly. I needed to remember who I was so that I can become who I want to be. I feel like I am living a life that isn't mine. Like I am living someone else's life. It doesn't fit. I make it work to the best of my ability because that is what I do, but it is not healthy - spiritually or physically. So, who am I? I am a simple woman who likes the simple things in life. I got to thinking about this now that the holiday season is in full swing. Invitation to these swanky New York events where everyone is so superficial with their expensive clothes, gadgets, and made up lifestyles. It was fun when I first came to New York, but hell, I've been her for years now and I long for the mundane. I'm the one who gets up leisurely on a...

I have been deep in thought about what the next step will be...I feel like I am not yet ready to make a leap into a different stream. Lately as you know I've really been wanting to make the move across the river to Jersey, but I would still be working in this community. Lately, the thought of moving back to Brooklyn has been heavy on my mind. Been pulling at me. Seems there is so much culture going on in Brooklyn. Not that there isn't culture here. The grass always seems greener on the other side. What I know for sure is that I need a fresh start!

 This is an old post I found in the draft folder that had never been posted. I guess because it was incomplete. I still like the song though . Just got through listening to Ledisi's "Someday." That song touches my spirit. Last night I missed my mom so bad. I am in the midst of another transition in my life (what's new) and I think I tend to revert...

A couple of Alvin Ailey dancers live in my building A couple of working actors (commercials, etc) also live in my building Maybe I need to stop being so stuck up about my building and the neighborhood Been reading about another blogger who took up my passion later in life and is now working with the likes of my Supastar. Small world! Reading her blogs is really helping me sort through and clear out my ideas and misconceptions about making it work a second time around and helping me realize what I need to do before I just jump right back into the frying pan.  My attitude has been my bigger hindrance. I need to change it.  Spent most of the morning watching episodes of Extreme Makeover Weight loss Edition on the computer to get motivation. Cried because although I am not as bad off as the contestants, their stories really touched my heart. As my man Michael Jackson would say, I'm going make a change.... I need to stop telling myself I am too old to do things. You are never...