Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

My grandmother passed. I don't know what to do. I don't really want to go home for the funeral. I hadn't planned on it. I've lost touch with my family and I will have to face thoughts and memories that I don't know I can manage. I am so conflicted.

In lighter news, I don't watch reality TV but through social media I know some of the "characters" and "players." We live in a judgmental world and I think I have become more judgmental over the years. Maybe through age or because of place. But, what I can't get with is this wife and husband swapping happening amongst the "Hollywood elite." I am seeing these celebs with children all around the same age looking pretty much like every variation of the common parent. Case in point, Sean Combs and his brood. Then there is Swizz Beats who has revealed that he has a whole slew of kids that all look just like him beyond Alicia's and the girl who Alicia Keys supposedly "stole" him from. Again, all around the same age with different mothers. But I was really disappointed that little Rudy Huxtable, is marrying the ex of RHOA's Lisa Wu who had previously been married to Keith Sweat. And there are others! Russell Simmons ex-wife Kimora Le...

I'm over it all. I am so sad today and it is because everything that is happening in the world is compounding. I swear, God is trying His hardest to get the attention of the pod people who are running around chasing imaginary characters on their phone. We have people leaving this earth in droves. It hits close to home too because the city and neighborhood where a lot of the tension is erupting is where my family is from. My grandmother is gravely ill. I am out of touch with just about everyone. My weight is completely out of control. The people I do interact with are shady as hell. You know how people love to say that "fat people" aren't happy or you can't be happy if you are fat. All lies. The reason fat people  are unhappy is because other people try to make them unhappy. This coworker invited me out and proceeded to make at least two digs about me. It makes me question who can be trusted. Which is why I am content to be alone most of the time. If I didn...