Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWLbPhOgo6E&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 My theme song. The lyrics are perfect. Grammatically incorrect, but perfectly imperfect.

When I hear this song I close my eyes and feel myself being two stepped by someone with strong arms. I feel so loved and and beautiful. I am happy and entirely in that moment. This is what good music is about.

Where has the time gone? What have I done other than sleep?  I saw a show, I went to my exhibit, but other than that I cannot for the life of me remember what I have done during my vacation. And the thing about it is that I wouldn't mind having more time to do whatever . I hate feeling rushed, pressed for time, and under pressure constantly. Having my own time to do what I want to do is more my style. I know people who can't stand to stay still. Who constantly have to do something...have a project going, redecorating, staying busy. I don't need it. I do what absolutely needs to be done - laundry, cleaning, groceries, paying bills, etc. The rest is up in the air. Maybe I will be blessed with the opportunity to work a flexible schedule while making a livable wage n 2014.

I have been having a hard time identifying exactly what it is that has been missing from my life. As I do each year around this time I am reflecting, reading, and meditating. In today's inspirational message that is part of the 21-days of inspiration by the Chopra center, the words came to me. They were already touched upon in this post , but when they resurfaced again I knew that this is what has been bothering me. The many facets of love include: connection, acceptance, understanding, appreciation, intimacy, and warmth .No wonder I feel like something is missing from my life. So many of these things are not what I experience. There are huge gaps in my spirit because I don't have the feeling of being completely loved in this world. I am so tired of everyone being angry, frustrated, and impatient. I am so tired of people being judgmental and placing themselves into things that don't even concern them. I am reading about Gabrielle Union and DWade getting engaged and then...

...sad. I feel sad today for some reason. I don't know what to attribute it to. The fact that the holidays are over? The gloomy cold weather?  My hormones? The fact that I am going back to work after such a restful and relaxing vacation? The realization that people are just mean for no good reason? I hate to feel this way. I don't want to be reluctant about returning to work. I don't want to be scrutinized and judged. I want to be excited about coming back with fresh ideas, but I haven't thought about work since I walked out the door in December. I know that I need my freedom. I know that I need to be able to support myself without having a job/career that locks me in all day and controls my life. I know this because I lived in a way that gave me flexibility for many years. And I was happy. But I didn't have the luxuries that I have now. I have to find a way to have both...perhaps marry into money so that I can live a life where I can create and volunteer. But t...

Happy New Year! I spent the first day of the year cooking greens and black eyed peas. I thought this would be a easy task since I just picked up the frozen variety. Not so much! I decided to cook the greens in my slow cooker since I normally have such a difficult time getting the frozen greens to cook down and get tender. Well after about the 5 hour mark the greens finally broke down. The peas were perfect however since they were fresh. So I planned to spend the day at home eating my New Year's meal, but my friend invited me over and said to bring what I had. So I did and was placed in an awkward situation because I thought he wanted me to bring it over because he wanted some. It was just a strange position to be placed in and I wish people wouldn't say things they don't mean. There was no reason to tell me bring food that you know no one else eats. I wouldn't have placed myself in that situation, but the assumption is that everyone had at least tasted these foods bef...