Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

I am in a good place emotionally. I feel like my strength has been restored and there is a bubble of protection around me. There is no sign of anxiety and I am able to face the world with a sense of peace. I want to stay this way. I want to let go of all that doesn't serve me in 2016. Not allow myself to stress out about things that are out of my control. I have learned that God continues to have my back and I am so blessed. Help me remember that I am protected and there is nothing that can destroy a child of the King. I have earned my crown. Thank you, God!

As I look back over my Novembers past I see a trend. I am in rut. Every.single.fall. I am unmotivated, uninspired, and don't want to interact with anyone. If I could hibernate until spring I would. S.A.D. is real. I need to find a way to reenergize. I need to find a way to feel inspired again. I am tired of my energy and moods being up and down. I wish I could be energetic and bubbly. I wish I was the type of person who could reach deep down inside and fake it to make it. It is a beautiful sunny day out. It was yesterday as well and I don't want to leave my apartment. My apartment is clean and my clothes are washed an ready for the week ahead. I cooked chicken and chicken soup yesterday and cleaned up a bit but that was all I had the energy to do. I got up and made pancakes for breakfast. I need to go grocery shopping and I am long overdue for a pedicure, eyebrow wax, and massage. Yet, I can't find the motivation to leave. I just want to stay home. Worst case scenario I...

My weekend was a wash. It had been raining for days and my mind and body shut down and refused to function. I pretty much came home from work on Friday and that was all she wrote. I needed to get work done this weekend but my mind just wasn't focused enough to do it. So when Monday rolled around I decided to take a day off. I need to have these days to regroup sometimes.  I managed to get more done before noon than I have all week. I paid rent, mailed a form to my student loan lender, washed my clothes and bedding, cleaned the cat box, cleaned the oven (it is self-cleaning) flipped my mattress, followed up on getting licensed out of state, and handled a few random items. All before noon. Not to mention I am showered and dressed! Go me! I need to do some reading for work, plan out the rest of my week, and go through papers to find my referral for dental work. I will need to get extractions of my remaining wisdom teeth and a root canal on a tooth that a stupid dentist in New York t...

I just saw a video of me that someone took last Friday and I was mortified. I have gained so much weight! I look like a freaking line backer. You know this means war. I am about to HAM on this fat. I have already started to make some changes, but I see I am going to have amp up the exercise and the discipline. No more emotional eating, treating myself, or any of the other excuses that have gotten me to this size. I need to lose weight and lose it now.  I'm not going set myself up for failure by trying to lose it all at once, but I do need to lose quite a bit so I am not so huge. I don't know how much that should be since I can't weigh myself. There might be a scale down in the gym that I can weigh myself on. I need to be in that gym at least 4 times a weeks doing cardio like a mad woman. I can do this. I will not lose momentum. Mentally I am ready and physically my body can not and will not continue to grow any larger. I can and I will do this!  How do I plan to do it? C...

First day of vacation and I am watching Kathy Lee and Hoda. I've got to do better!

For the second morning in a row I have risen before the alarm and not been able to fall back asleep. If I keep this up, I might need to start getting up at 5:30 AM to hit the gym before work. That would add energy to my day. The gym is near my job so I would have to shower and get ready for work there. Eh, maybe a couple times a week I can make an effor to that. We'll see what happens. Kind of waiting for the new year crowds to die down. One of my pet peeves is going to a crowded, overused gym. Sure to happen after work. I just never have extra energy afer work, though yesterday I was surprisingly not completely dragging when I left. Not as motivated this morning, but will continue my 5-5-5 ritual this morning. I keep looking at my vision board that I created last year and although many of the things I posted are still in my vision, I want to update it...maybe narrow it down a bit. Collage is a messy process, but then again, so is life. Just ask the ex who found me on Facebook....

You may have gone to bed last night weary and wondering how, when and why? But thank God you woke up this morning and placed your feet on the floor. And when you did, I'm sure the enemy said... "DARN, she (he) is up again!" That's right. You are up again. You may still be discouraged, but you are not defeated! You are up again. Your head is up! Your gratitude is up! Your faith is up! You are standing up on your faith. You are cheering up and looking up. You are speaking up and thinking up. You are hooking up with the right people. You are growing up and maturing in your self-esteem, self-worth and self-control. You are up and ready to make it through and up out of your temporary circumstances. To get better sleep, reduce the news watching and distance yourself from the negative people. Prayer is better than prozac. There is no cost... just a lot of reward. Make sure you pray, and pray believing God will answer. May today be all you need it to be. May the pea...

So things have settled in a smooth lull since the last time I typed a post. My move went smoothly and I love my new space! Little miss kitty is still getting used to it and I feel bad about the fact that as soon as she settles into this spot we will be back in NYC in our old place. I miss New York soooo much! Who knew that it had captured my heart! I knew that I would have a greater appreciation for it once I left it. Funny, you have two sets of NY ex-pats out here. First set - they love every smelly, grimy layer of the city and go back every chance they get. Second set - they can take it or leave it and really only go back because their family is still there. I think I fall somewhere in between. I spent most of the weekend shopping and watching DVDs. Since I've been gone I've fallen behind on my movie watching. So far I in love with Dreamgirls and Madagascar. I have a lot of movies to catch up on. Even though I now have cable (included in my rent, thank you very ...

This is great advice for staying the course: Becoming either too comfortable with yo ur life or too fearful and depressed can stop you from growing. Even thoug h the way to success may seem crazy and hazy, never give up your dream, faith, self- esteem and determination. Allow me to encourage you today. Learn to silence the voice of your inner critic. Silence the voice of worry, jealousy and fear. You can accomplish an ything as you learn to focus, believe in yourself, stay the course, discipline your weak areas, balance your life, remain teachable and adhere to God's guidance fo r your life. Remember these five ways to be happy: Free your mind from worry and fear. Take care of your body. Your health is your first wealth. Live simply with order, beauty, peace, love and gratitude. Give yourself permission to explore the opportunities to live in your purpose. Only the strong survive. So strengthen your areas of weaknes...