Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

Havana, Cuba (© All rights reserved) I am starting to miss Cuba. On one hand I wish I could move there still having my freedoms and luxuries as an American, but embracing the simplicity of life there. Not having to make a lot of decisions and not having to worry about basic needs like where my next meal will come from or if I will make the rent. I know that it is unrealistic to expect to have both, but at a time in my life where everything is in flux I find my mind wandering to that place. The Cuba trip couldn't have come at a better time in my life. It gives me perspective as I deal with the uncertainty of my future. It makes me so grateful for all that I have in my life. Can I tell you how excited I am about my future?  How excited I am about all that is in store for me? I know it will work out in my favor because God has shown me over and over how to lean not my own understanding. God has been there for me time and time again. I have so much faith that my world is about...

Havana, Cuba 2018 Been back from Cuba for a couple of days now and still recuperating from the travel. Unlike my trip to New Mexico, this trip was not relaxing and refreshing. But, it was necessary. It was so very necessary and timely. I needed to experience this at this time in my life. God is indeed good. I've spent the past two days processing my experience. It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember to go to Cuba and I am so grateful that I could experience this trip. I am home now trying to figure out my next move. I am leaving my job and debating whether I am ready to leave this area right now as well. I will also move so I can downsize my lifestyle. God has been so good to me over the past 5 years. I have so many wonderful blessings and I don't take them for granted. However, I have a sense of peace that I will no longer be in an environment that is toxic and detrimental to my well-being.  I am watching Patricia of Godzdesign talk about her nex...

Well, God has opened the door for me to walk away from all of the strife and grief that I have been suffering for the past few years. It is like a prisoner stepping out into the light after years in confinement. There is some trepidation, but mostly excitement for the future. A sense of peace has come over me, despite the uncertainty of the future. I have room to breathe for a minute. I need to clear my head and see where life leads me. Cuba - my dream trip that is in my immediate future. So glad I booked the trip when I did and did not put it on hold. Life has a funny way of creating detours when you least expect them.  I had the idea today of creating a photographic book of affirmations. I have all of my photos that I can use along with my original affirmations and anecdotal notes about my life experiences.  Photographic editorial project that will be revealed once it is fleshed out and in progress. Releasing people who do not bring positive value into my life. Removin...

I don't know what is going to happen in the coming months. Everything is up the air at this point. I am not stressed. I am not worried. I just want to make it long enough to get to Cuba. That is my goal at this point. I looked at an apartment this weekend and despite it being much cheaper than my current place I couldn't wrap my head around living there. I really do like my apartment and I am not ready to move yet. I also have been very lax about sending out my resume for a new job. I feel like the universe will figure it all out for me. I typically have a strong feeling one way or another about what I am going to do but I don't have that feeling so I am just letting go and letting it work out on its own. This weekend has been relaxing. I have been resting and writing. I went to the National Harbor with an old friend and it was interesting. The prior weekend I went to brunch with a new friend and I was irritated. I am come to the conclusion that I am a shitty friend. ...

https://youtu.be/TTmPzGjCeG4

I had a beautiful dream last night that I was with someone I clicked with immediately. We were inseparable. I felt safe with him and was completely myself. I woke up feeling like I might be ready to date. Lately my eye has been wandering and I emotionally I've been more vulnerable. Anyway, all of that is to say that I am ready to meet new people, do new things, and enjoy my life to the fullest. I wish I had the type of lifestyle that would allow me to hop a plane to fly to NOLA for red beans and rice - on a whim. There are so many beautiful places in the world and I want to see as many of them as possible. Right now I am drawn to the Southwest. I can live cheaply which will allow me then travel more. I'm sorting some things out in my head.

So, as I suspected I will be leaving my job this year unless something happens. It is bittersweet and I knew I was putting that energy into the Universe every time I said I wanted more. I have waves of indifference and sadness. I know that life has amazing experiences waiting for me on the other side. I had a good run, but now I need to spread my wings. I have been having these very vivid dreams recently. I dreamed about a sunset that was brilliant it lit up a tree like it was on fire. Today, I took a nap and dreamed about home. I dreamed that I was back in the house I grew up in. Back on the street I grew up on. It had changed but it was still home. I woke up crying for my mother. Missing my mother so much. Ideally I will be able to live in California again and travel. Right now I am researching what I am doing next. I might stay in this area for another year. I might to to Philly. Or, I might even consider somewhere in the Southwest like New Mexico. I have everything lo...