Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

So, as I suspected I will be leaving my job this year unless something happens. It is bittersweet and I knew I was putting that energy into the Universe every time I said I wanted more. I have waves of indifference and sadness. I know that life has amazing experiences waiting for me on the other side. I had a good run, but now I need to spread my wings. I have been having these very vivid dreams recently. I dreamed about a sunset that was brilliant it lit up a tree like it was on fire. Today, I took a nap and dreamed about home. I dreamed that I was back in the house I grew up in. Back on the street I grew up on. It had changed but it was still home. I woke up crying for my mother. Missing my mother so much. Ideally I will be able to live in California again and travel. Right now I am researching what I am doing next. I might stay in this area for another year. I might to to Philly. Or, I might even consider somewhere in the Southwest like New Mexico. I have everything lo...

It usually takes a big shake up to shake off the funky coat of negativity that has a way of wrapping around you during a visit to the valley. A valley is that low place that we descend into when life has bigger plans for us. It is the place that prepares us for a next chapter. But if we stay in that place too long we start to rot and stink - figuratively and sometimes literally. And this is where we find ourselves. In the sunken place. But, we don't have to stay there. We can live our life in a way that inspires us. That's what I did this past weekend. I had a trip booked to New Mexico and it was just what I needed. I soaked and steamed out all of my tension and toxins. I remembered who I was. I reconnected with nature. I realized that I am not the issue...it is where I am. As soon as I got back to D.C. the negativity crept back in. I have the option to not embrace it. I am going to revel in this good feeling for as long as I can. I thank God for creating such beautiful places ...

I have always been pegged as a rebel - a maverick. Stubborn, hard-headed...difficult. I prefer adjectives such as determined, independent, and tenacious. I know what I want and I am willing to put all of my time and effort into achieving it. This is why I have never given up on my dreams. I have come across obstacles and had to find some detours to get around them but those detours have always lead me back to what I really want in life. My desire in this life is to create and to create freely. I am most happy when I am living outside of the constraints that society has placed on me. I just watched a video of a girl who shaved her shoulder length hair off. She talked about how it is considered an act of rebellion against society. I find that I always cut my hair when I feel constrained. I've been thinking about growing my hair back, but I don't think I am ready yet. I think this act of having short hair is a spiritual act. When I am in a toxic environment that energy sticks to...

I'm out here trying to remember who I am. You see, when people try to kill your spirit you either lay down and die or you dig deep inside of yourself and fight for your life. They may have won the battle but the war is not lost. I wonder what people get out of trying to destroy you? I feel like Sofia from The Color Purple...all my life I've had to fight. And I have. There are been times where I have been exactly where I was meant to be and I was surrounded by love and light and then there have been times like this where I am shrouded in darkness and negativity. I have more critics than supporters. So, I have been investing my time in remembering who I am. What I love, what I am good at, where I feel most at peace. I already mentioned my trip to the desert. I have another amazing trip planned as well. For now, I have decided to not submit my resignation. I will look into transferring out if it is an option and doing something different all together. I just haven't been mot...

I have been loving myself. I have been tapping deep into my spirit to rediscover who I am at my core. I am under attack on my job and negativity is tossed at me from every direction. My spirit longs for peace. I am reminding myself that everything I am experiencing is all part of the process. God is guiding where I need to be. I know my own worth and value. I will not be destroyed. Oprah and Deepak's new meditation series starts tomorrow!  I booked a trip to a spa in New Mexico surrounded by  Navajos. Pueblos. I am in a good place and moving toward the goals I set 5 years ago.  Time for a new plan.  The universe tells me that no matter what happens I will be OK. 

Listen, your girl has been going through but I am finding my way back to alignment. I have more to say on it but right now I am in a really good place. I will update you soon. Stay tuned.