Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

Sometimes  the more you want peace in your life the more elusive it becomes. I have only wanted to live a peaceful existence in the time that I have lived here. On my job I like to mind my own business but when I sense unfairness my deep rooted sense of social justice is awakened. I can't help it. I was raised during a time when social justice the norm and in a place that is about as progressive as they come. So, as I stated before I am having issues on my job. Mostly through me getting dragged into B.S. by petty people. I have been fighting. But fighting is exhausting. But I can't just lie down and play dead when my good name and all of my years of investing in my career are being dragged through the mud. I am on vacation this week. While I have been sick for the past two weeks or so with allergy symptoms I have been diligent about planning for my future. I have my trusty lists to remind of what I need to accomplish. I was even so ambitious that I planned to schedule out w...

So, I've been having some issues on my job. I finally decided that I am going to walk away because I don't seen any improvement on the horizon. Yeah, sound familiar? Anyway, I talked to my friend and he suggested that hang in there but get my resumes circulating. Well, about a month ago a couple of girls told me about a job fair this month. I wasn't going to go because I would have to use one of my leave days, but after all that has taken place since then I put in my leave slip and went. I didn't go first thing in the morning as I planned. I just couldn't get myself together. I did manage to hit up the places that I was most interested in as well as get my certification situation for another state so it was a productive day and I think it was well worth my time. It was so amazing to have the day off. The weather was absolutely spectacular! I felt like a person. I hadn't felt like a person in a long time. I walked around the city afterward and promised myself tha...

So today was frustrating. I got up and out of the house in order to run a series of errands. I started hitting some bumps in the road and it just got to the point where I had to turn around and come back home to de-stress. Disclaimer: I typically don't "do" Saturdays because I don't like competing with the rest of world who saves all of their errands until the weekend and are rushing around.  I started out by dropping my taxes off to the preparer then heading across the street to the library. I stopped in CVS and replenished my make up (I didn't even have a drop left!) and a few other toiletries. Thank God I did because .... After I left the library I tried to get some money out of the ATM so I could buy a money order for certification in another state. They do not accept person checks. I don't use the card as a debit card so I forgot the damn pin! So the fucker locked me out but didn't tell me. I went to Walmart to get a new wiper blade and see if...

I haven't been writing. I also haven't really been doing anything that was previously part of my routine. I put myself on a budget this year so I have been taking it easy with my finances. Lots of trips to the grocery store to make sure I am not spending money on take out. I have been feeling pretty well. Other than my dental issues. Work has been hell but I have been making the best of it. I think everything finally just reached a head and I have had two melt downs recently. I told my boss that she might want to start looking for someone else for my position. I was dead serious and I don't regret saying it. I have been set up to fail since I arrived and I called it as I saw it. I don't like to play games especially when it comes to my livelihood and my career that I am invested into for over a decade. I felt so insulted by the B.S. that she said to me when she knows I work my ass off and I have the data to back it up. Oddly, I am not emotionally in the same place I...

I am in a good place emotionally. I feel like my strength has been restored and there is a bubble of protection around me. There is no sign of anxiety and I am able to face the world with a sense of peace. I want to stay this way. I want to let go of all that doesn't serve me in 2016. Not allow myself to stress out about things that are out of my control. I have learned that God continues to have my back and I am so blessed. Help me remember that I am protected and there is nothing that can destroy a child of the King. I have earned my crown. Thank you, God!

I am home relaxing and quite content. It is New Years Eve and I have no desire to be anywhere other than here. I am burning candles and my Christmas tree is lit. My cat is sleeping at the foot of my bed. I am fed and I had just enough wine left for a glass. I just finished creating a budget for 2016. I am tired of wondering where all of my money goes at the end of the month. When I got robbed I started using more cash than swipes and it has helped me be more aware of how much I am spending because I have to plan ahead and anticipate how much money I will need to last me that week or two weeks. I used to be really good at budgeting. I think I got careless when I was in a comfortable place. I don't have money in my budget for everything so I will have to sacrifice for some of the things that I am used to having. For example instead of treating myself to cocktails I will use that money for a massage or instead of a bottle of wine I can get my eyebrows done. It will all fall under ...