Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

I love the little motivational messages on the side bar of this blog. I was having trouble getting started this morning. I didn't sleep through the night, tried to get some work done, got stuck, started to stress about how much I need to do, had to take my inhaler, felt off, wanted to cry but couldn't, tried to meditate, couldn't fully focus, decided to take a cat nap, and decided that something has got to change. I am starting to have stress related symptoms: lack of sleep, panic attacks, stomach aches. Yesterday morning I had a wave wash over me while I was working where I suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed. Yesterday was also a non-stop day where my only time to myself was for a few minutes at lunch. Even once I got home I couldn't unwind. I am so unhappy on this job. The past few days I have experienced gripping stomach aches that are directly connected to what is happening at work.  Today will be another super busy day where I will not have a break in my schedule....

Good Morning, I am up early this morning for several reasons. One is that I went to sleep at a somewhat reasonable time last night. No staying up until the wee hours of the morning even though it is a holiday today. I am so grateful for this extra day off work. It is helping me reflect and rest. Why yes, it has only been a few weeks since I went back to work. But, it feels like it has been a few months. I am on a virtual hamster wheel trying to meet deadlines, implement new initiatives, do my day to day, and stay on top of my household responsibilities. How people with more responsibilities manage, I don't know. I guess you do what you have to do. I had a reasonably productive weekend. I rested all day Saturday. I have learned that I have to take an entire day of the weekend to simply do nothing because I run ragged during the week. I notice that it has helped me stay healthier and sane. I also have enough energy to then take care of my household items so I am prepared for ...

Well, I had the biggest surprise today. My boss called me into her office and apologized to me. Maybe she does have a heart after all. I don't know what to make of her. It was actually quite heartfelt and I think she was sincere.  I just feel sorry for her at this point because she has a difficult job and trying to balance everything is obviously taking a toll on her. I'll see how long this will last.

The commute to work today was 100% better. Hardly anyone came in yesterday. My boss was stressed out, but it seems that she was able to work it out. As a leader that is what you are expected to do - plan ahead and problem-solve. I slept most of the day. I intended to use it as a work from home day but I was so annoyed by the phone conversation that we had that I wanted to just nap. My coworker called me because she also didn't make it in yesterday. The others I spoke to said that they were either sliding around, couldn't get out, or were turned around by the police because the roads were close. Yeah, NONE of the roads were treated! One person told me she had a spin out. That is exactly what I was avoiding when I turned by car around and headed back home. In any event, today was a good day! No unnecessary meetings, I was in a good mood (heck I was rested!), and no one bothered me while I was working. Just the way I like it! Then when I did see my boss today she chipperly sai...

We have a new mayor. She just started the beginning of the year. Coincidentally the first snow was within the first month of her new job. Well let's just say that she failed in decision making yesterday. I got up early yesterday and watched the news before heading out to see what the road conditions were like. The news kept saying that they were good. Well, the news LIED! I drove about 20 miles an hour and slipped and slid all over the street. I got as far as the end of my street before deciding that it wasn't safe enough to continue. Granted I haven't had my car winterized yet, but my tires have a LOT of tread on them, I drove slowly, and I only went about 3 blocks! Come to find out that other people did the same thing. So I tried calling my boss to tell her that I wouldn't make it. If the road weren't treated then the sidewalks probably weren't either and at that point it was almost time to start. She gave a number to use before we left on vacation last year...

Woke up this morning to the first snow of the season. I am mentally not ready. I expected to have snow over the holidays. Unfortunately we aren't on any type of delay for work but I am having a hard time getting started this morning. I have a day full of meetings and you know how I feel about that. Ugh! I could have really used a snow day. I guess there will be others in the coming months. Off I go~