Martha's Choice
I wrote about my friend Martha last year. She passed away in October 2005 but I didn't learn the details of her situation until recently. I found out that Martha had a choice to make at the end of her life. A choice that had odds about as good as a crap shoot in Atlantic City.
Martha was smart, funny, and talented. She was a business professional, a proud mother and a doting grandmother. She was also highly ambitious. Martha was always willing to try something new and she never rested on her laurels. Even into her 50s and 60s she was trying new things --writing, directing, acting--Martha tried it all. Her internal drive was constantly taking her from a meeting to a play reading to a rehearsal and then back home to write. How she managed to squeeze everything into 24 hour period is beyond me.
Then one day Martha received a diagnosis from her doctor. She was given two choices: live with the condition and eventually become wheelchair bound or have a surgery that offered a 50/50 chance of walking or being paralyzed.
Martha prayed. She kept her diagnosis secret only revealing it to those within her innermost circle. Finally she decided to have the surgery. Everything went as planned and the doctors declared the operation a success. Martha was sent home to recuperate. That night she closed her eyes to go to sleep but did not wake up.
Martha reminded a lot of my mother. She was strong, intelligent and independent. Too independent. They were raised to be that way. They made do in life. They learned at an early age to make lemons into lemonade with a pretty garnish on top. They never wanted anyone to know when they needed help. Strong, black women. It may sound strange but in a lot of ways their strength was their weakness. Sure they needed to be strong to survive but sometimes you have to let go and let God. In a way Martha was still calling the shots when she accepted the 50/50 odds. Let go...when you take your hands off of it He will do the rest. Let God. He has a message to send through you. Let Him be your strength.
I am learning that when I don't know what else to do, I simple do nothing and eventually God works it all out for me. I am learning to let go and let God. I am learning from Martha's choices to trust in Him.
Martha was smart, funny, and talented. She was a business professional, a proud mother and a doting grandmother. She was also highly ambitious. Martha was always willing to try something new and she never rested on her laurels. Even into her 50s and 60s she was trying new things --writing, directing, acting--Martha tried it all. Her internal drive was constantly taking her from a meeting to a play reading to a rehearsal and then back home to write. How she managed to squeeze everything into 24 hour period is beyond me.
Then one day Martha received a diagnosis from her doctor. She was given two choices: live with the condition and eventually become wheelchair bound or have a surgery that offered a 50/50 chance of walking or being paralyzed.
Martha prayed. She kept her diagnosis secret only revealing it to those within her innermost circle. Finally she decided to have the surgery. Everything went as planned and the doctors declared the operation a success. Martha was sent home to recuperate. That night she closed her eyes to go to sleep but did not wake up.
Martha reminded a lot of my mother. She was strong, intelligent and independent. Too independent. They were raised to be that way. They made do in life. They learned at an early age to make lemons into lemonade with a pretty garnish on top. They never wanted anyone to know when they needed help. Strong, black women. It may sound strange but in a lot of ways their strength was their weakness. Sure they needed to be strong to survive but sometimes you have to let go and let God. In a way Martha was still calling the shots when she accepted the 50/50 odds. Let go...when you take your hands off of it He will do the rest. Let God. He has a message to send through you. Let Him be your strength.
I am learning that when I don't know what else to do, I simple do nothing and eventually God works it all out for me. I am learning to let go and let God. I am learning from Martha's choices to trust in Him.
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