Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

These people are really out there but some of what they offer makes sense.

Something happened on Friday that triggered feelings that had been buried deep inside of me. I instantly recognized it for what it was but I am still grappling with the effects of it. My coworker got angry at me and lashed out at me about something that was ultimately the result of her own choices. As a result, it made me feel like a "bad person." It rippled throughout my entire body like prickly thorns and a hot wave of embarrassment and shame washed over me. I hadn't felt that way in years so I asked myself where it was coming from. What had she unearthed. Why was I feeling bad for a choice that she made? I realized that I felt that way a lot growing up. I was always at the receiving end of someone's emotional outburst. It started with my mother who would come home and dump her shit on me. As I got older the boys I dated must have realized that I was an emotional dumping ground so they started dumping on me as well. I recognize it because I became a dumper at one po...

Class is Dismissed.

I have decided that I am going to try to make my escape sometime in early 2018. I want to spend a year in New Orleans creating a photo documentary or a documentary. I have to flesh it all out and plan how I am going to make it happen but that is what I want to do. I was originally going to try to wait until summer but if I can make it happen now then why not?  Stay tuned...the next year is going to be the one where I shift gears and make magical things happen in my life.

All difficult, challenging, painful experiences and relationships provide us with an opportunity to heal some part of our consciousness. -Iyanla Vanzant I am in an uncomfortable place in my life. It's as if nothing brings me satisfaction. Being in this place, this frame of mind, this constant state of discomfort has forced me to seek out healing. Here is a timely analogy. I burned my arm the other night. I iced it and thought it was OK. It was for the first couple of days. Then it began to form a blister and the blister popped. Once the blister opened up I could see the full extent of the damage and I realized that it was worse than I thought. I had a second degree burn that didn't manifest itself as such until days later. I treat it and care keep it protected but I am vulnerable to infection and the healing process is painful. This is how I feel about my spiritual state. I didn't realize how "damaged" I was until I started healing. When I began to deal with ...

Have you ever been so tired (of life and other people's bullshit) that you just wanted to leave? And go anywhere but here. My life is not miserable. Far from it. I used to dream of having what I have now. Yet, I'm not happy. My personal freedom is compromised and that has me wanting to walk away from everything and travel. Visit foreign lands with nothing but a backpack, a camera, and a laptop to document my adventures. I want to do something creative so bad it aches. This feeling usually signals that I need a major upheaval in my life. I need to voluntarily make a change to feed my spirit. And then I read this: http://www.oprah.com/sp/new-midlife-crisis.html#ixzz4ujpd46Q0/ And it all makes sense now.