I've been thinking, I've been thinking....
I just realized that this is the first time in years that I've had a significant amount of time to get my life in order and just think and process. I've made some painful observations.
Observation #1: My finances are a MESS! I know that other people are doing much worse, but based upon how I THOUGHT I was doing...baby! I am so far off base. Making more money doesn't necessarily mean you have more money. That is one of those money myths. My living expenses take a huge chunk out of my income. That is a lifestyle choice and although it is financial burden it gives me peace of mind so I make it work. But it really eats into all of my other categories. Which brings me to my next big expense. Debt! Because I am paying back student loans a huge portion of my income is dedicated to that monthly expense. When I took a good look I realized that I am not even paying off the loan. I have only been paying the interest. Good Lord, I am never going to get the thing paid off until I get rid of big expense #3...credit card debt. Why do I have credit card debt, you ask? Well, since I sat down and did the Dave Ramsey zero based budget I realized that I have been supplementing my lack of enough income with my credit cards! I also sat down and determined the amount of interest I pay monthly on said credit cards and I was blown away! It is insane and the insanity needs to stop. Now! So, I started using the everydollar app to get a hold on my expenses and it gave me a reality check as to how much money I really have to spend each month. I was delusional, always thinking that my second check which wasn't going toward rent was my "play" money. Nope! Once I sat down and wrote out each and every single expense (including budgeting for food, gas, quarterly insurance payments, license renewal, etc.) I was shocked! Just to give you an example, I am about $1K over budget this month. So, I had to go in and adjust payments on my insurance policies (card and renters) and spread them out to give myself a little bit of wiggle room. Because I am also trying to give a boost to my credit score I had also been paying more on my outstanding credit cards without realizing that I didn't even have that money free. My justification at the time was 'well, if I run out of money at the end of the month I will still have money because it is on the credit cards.' This is another one of those myths about money that keep people in an endless cycle of debt. When I say that the everydollar app has been life changing for me, I am not kidding. I had to SEE that my money was being spent in a way that was not beneficial toward meeting my long-term goals.
While I don't agree with everything that Dave Ramsey says, he offers some phenomenal insight and tools for getting out of debt. He has baby steps for getting out of debt and achieving financial freedom.
Baby Step #1- Establish an emergency fund of $1000. My mind wants to use that money to go toward debt repayment right away. My mind screams, how are you "saving money" when you are in so much debt.
Baby Step #2 - Snowball your debt payments until they are all paid off. That means pay a little more on each card monthly until it is paid off. Then take that extra money and use it toward paying off the next card until all debt is paid off.
Baby Step #3 - Once you have paid off all of your debt then you are ready to start building a bigger emergency fund to keep you financial secure in case of loss of income.
Baby Step #4 - Then you can finally start to focus on that retirement fund of 15%.
Baby Step #5 and #6 have to do with kids and a home. Since I have neither (right now) I would make that step saving to buy a home. At some point I am also going to have purchase a new car, but that likely to happen somewhere between step 2 and 3. I also want to create a travel fund so figuring out where that fits in is important too. Once all of my credit card debt is paid off then I am can start chipping away at the student loans. I honestly wish that I had been taught financial literacy at a younger age. I was clueless about how much damage I was doing myself because of the money myths that I was told as a child.
I think (hope?) that I finally understand how money works and how I can make it work for me rather than me working for money.
Observation #2: My weight is a serious issues that I have been neglecting. I HAVE to get this weight off. I know I have been saying that for years, but now is the time. People really judge you harshly when you are overweight. They think you don't love yourself which is totally false. People who are overweight tend to put others ahead of themselves. I didn't get fat until I started becoming a caregiver. First my mom when she was sick then when I started this job. I haven't lost any weight since I started this job. I have to get in control. I just discovered that is FREE to swim in our city. Why didn't I know that before? That is insane that I have not been taking advantage of that! Plus I have a free gym in my building that I pay for in my high ass rent so I wouldn't waste that money by paying an outside gym. Here is the thing though, I was going for a while but people would stare at me or do passive aggressive things to make me feel as if I didn't belong in there! If anyone belongs in there it is me. Why do people do that? It is crazy! It is a never ending cycle. No one wants to feel uncomfortable. I have as much right to be there as anyone else. I pay my rent just like they do. I wish they would upgrade the gym but for basic movement it is there. I also live near beautiful walking spaces but the weather is so off that I rarely do that anymore. I have to get into motion though. Since I will not be investing as much time into my work next year I will now invest that time into coming home at the end of the day and walking or working out. Already working on improving my diet and with my tight budget I am going to have make that happen anyway. No more eating out, packed lunches only.
Observation #3: I don't like living in the city. It doesn't bring me joy. Am I relatively at peace (compared to my state of mind in New York) yes. But I am not truly happy living in this city. It doesn't feed my soul. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, but considering this is my second go around here I'm pretty sure it is the culture of the city that doesn't mesh with my needs. Remember, I only planned to be here 2-4 years which is why I am so antsy now. For me to stay anywhere for 5 years is pretty unusual. I need my mind and soul to be sparked and fed continually. I haven't found that here. Not only are people not friendly, but they are downright mean. It's as if everyone here is miserable. I didn't even find that in New York! It's crazy! So, my goal is to get the hell out of here in 2018.
Which brings me to long-term plans. So, it seems that I won't be changing jobs this year (unless I have an issue with renewing my license.) I am going to try to get licensed in another state as well (the application is done but I just have to wait for my next paycheck so I can pay the fee.) Ultimately, I plan to leave this field. I realized while I was out on interviews and being called for interviews that I really have lost my passion. I was on fire last year though. It just killed everything in me when I got my final evaluation back. I don't need to keep beating a dead horse. I will use it as a way to a means which is pulling myself out of debt and saving up enough to move next year.
And that is as far as I have gotten at this point. I am excited that a new Oprah and Deepak meditation series is starting next week. Hopefully I will be able to tap into more soul-searching and revelations about what I have been doing wrong and how I can self-correct. I am hopeful. For now, I am focusing on organizing my household and purging items that don't serve me or bring me joy. I have boxes of old papers and a closet filled with crap that was just thrown into boxes when I left New York. I am going to spend part of the day shredding papers, filing, and organizing my life. Depending on the weather I might go for a walk once I get tired of shuffling papers. I have been doing a great job of getting out and getting things done. Next week should be another productive week as I have a long list of things that need to get done.
I am so grateful for everything in my life. I really am, but I know that I can do better because it is embedded in my heart that life has so much more in store for me. I am open to new experiences. Let me clean up my life first.
Question for you, reader: What are YOU doing to get your life in order? Leave a comment below.
Observation #1: My finances are a MESS! I know that other people are doing much worse, but based upon how I THOUGHT I was doing...baby! I am so far off base. Making more money doesn't necessarily mean you have more money. That is one of those money myths. My living expenses take a huge chunk out of my income. That is a lifestyle choice and although it is financial burden it gives me peace of mind so I make it work. But it really eats into all of my other categories. Which brings me to my next big expense. Debt! Because I am paying back student loans a huge portion of my income is dedicated to that monthly expense. When I took a good look I realized that I am not even paying off the loan. I have only been paying the interest. Good Lord, I am never going to get the thing paid off until I get rid of big expense #3...credit card debt. Why do I have credit card debt, you ask? Well, since I sat down and did the Dave Ramsey zero based budget I realized that I have been supplementing my lack of enough income with my credit cards! I also sat down and determined the amount of interest I pay monthly on said credit cards and I was blown away! It is insane and the insanity needs to stop. Now! So, I started using the everydollar app to get a hold on my expenses and it gave me a reality check as to how much money I really have to spend each month. I was delusional, always thinking that my second check which wasn't going toward rent was my "play" money. Nope! Once I sat down and wrote out each and every single expense (including budgeting for food, gas, quarterly insurance payments, license renewal, etc.) I was shocked! Just to give you an example, I am about $1K over budget this month. So, I had to go in and adjust payments on my insurance policies (card and renters) and spread them out to give myself a little bit of wiggle room. Because I am also trying to give a boost to my credit score I had also been paying more on my outstanding credit cards without realizing that I didn't even have that money free. My justification at the time was 'well, if I run out of money at the end of the month I will still have money because it is on the credit cards.' This is another one of those myths about money that keep people in an endless cycle of debt. When I say that the everydollar app has been life changing for me, I am not kidding. I had to SEE that my money was being spent in a way that was not beneficial toward meeting my long-term goals.
While I don't agree with everything that Dave Ramsey says, he offers some phenomenal insight and tools for getting out of debt. He has baby steps for getting out of debt and achieving financial freedom.
Baby Step #1- Establish an emergency fund of $1000. My mind wants to use that money to go toward debt repayment right away. My mind screams, how are you "saving money" when you are in so much debt.
Baby Step #2 - Snowball your debt payments until they are all paid off. That means pay a little more on each card monthly until it is paid off. Then take that extra money and use it toward paying off the next card until all debt is paid off.
Baby Step #3 - Once you have paid off all of your debt then you are ready to start building a bigger emergency fund to keep you financial secure in case of loss of income.
Baby Step #4 - Then you can finally start to focus on that retirement fund of 15%.
Baby Step #5 and #6 have to do with kids and a home. Since I have neither (right now) I would make that step saving to buy a home. At some point I am also going to have purchase a new car, but that likely to happen somewhere between step 2 and 3. I also want to create a travel fund so figuring out where that fits in is important too. Once all of my credit card debt is paid off then I am can start chipping away at the student loans. I honestly wish that I had been taught financial literacy at a younger age. I was clueless about how much damage I was doing myself because of the money myths that I was told as a child.
I think (hope?) that I finally understand how money works and how I can make it work for me rather than me working for money.
Observation #2: My weight is a serious issues that I have been neglecting. I HAVE to get this weight off. I know I have been saying that for years, but now is the time. People really judge you harshly when you are overweight. They think you don't love yourself which is totally false. People who are overweight tend to put others ahead of themselves. I didn't get fat until I started becoming a caregiver. First my mom when she was sick then when I started this job. I haven't lost any weight since I started this job. I have to get in control. I just discovered that is FREE to swim in our city. Why didn't I know that before? That is insane that I have not been taking advantage of that! Plus I have a free gym in my building that I pay for in my high ass rent so I wouldn't waste that money by paying an outside gym. Here is the thing though, I was going for a while but people would stare at me or do passive aggressive things to make me feel as if I didn't belong in there! If anyone belongs in there it is me. Why do people do that? It is crazy! It is a never ending cycle. No one wants to feel uncomfortable. I have as much right to be there as anyone else. I pay my rent just like they do. I wish they would upgrade the gym but for basic movement it is there. I also live near beautiful walking spaces but the weather is so off that I rarely do that anymore. I have to get into motion though. Since I will not be investing as much time into my work next year I will now invest that time into coming home at the end of the day and walking or working out. Already working on improving my diet and with my tight budget I am going to have make that happen anyway. No more eating out, packed lunches only.
Observation #3: I don't like living in the city. It doesn't bring me joy. Am I relatively at peace (compared to my state of mind in New York) yes. But I am not truly happy living in this city. It doesn't feed my soul. Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, but considering this is my second go around here I'm pretty sure it is the culture of the city that doesn't mesh with my needs. Remember, I only planned to be here 2-4 years which is why I am so antsy now. For me to stay anywhere for 5 years is pretty unusual. I need my mind and soul to be sparked and fed continually. I haven't found that here. Not only are people not friendly, but they are downright mean. It's as if everyone here is miserable. I didn't even find that in New York! It's crazy! So, my goal is to get the hell out of here in 2018.
Which brings me to long-term plans. So, it seems that I won't be changing jobs this year (unless I have an issue with renewing my license.) I am going to try to get licensed in another state as well (the application is done but I just have to wait for my next paycheck so I can pay the fee.) Ultimately, I plan to leave this field. I realized while I was out on interviews and being called for interviews that I really have lost my passion. I was on fire last year though. It just killed everything in me when I got my final evaluation back. I don't need to keep beating a dead horse. I will use it as a way to a means which is pulling myself out of debt and saving up enough to move next year.
And that is as far as I have gotten at this point. I am excited that a new Oprah and Deepak meditation series is starting next week. Hopefully I will be able to tap into more soul-searching and revelations about what I have been doing wrong and how I can self-correct. I am hopeful. For now, I am focusing on organizing my household and purging items that don't serve me or bring me joy. I have boxes of old papers and a closet filled with crap that was just thrown into boxes when I left New York. I am going to spend part of the day shredding papers, filing, and organizing my life. Depending on the weather I might go for a walk once I get tired of shuffling papers. I have been doing a great job of getting out and getting things done. Next week should be another productive week as I have a long list of things that need to get done.
I am so grateful for everything in my life. I really am, but I know that I can do better because it is embedded in my heart that life has so much more in store for me. I am open to new experiences. Let me clean up my life first.
Question for you, reader: What are YOU doing to get your life in order? Leave a comment below.
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