Joyful, joyful

-
I'm still here if anyone cares. This has been such a peaceful Christmas. I have truly been blessed. While the last half of 2014 has been challenging I have remained faithful and grateful for the blessing that have been bestowed upon me.

I miss those who are no longer here and the holidays really didn't feel very festive this year. Everyone was so wrapped up in their own wants. The stores did not seem to have any good deals at all. People typically smiles and wishes you a happy holiday. Nope. Not this year. I think that we are really in trouble right now. The world is suffering.  I try to disengage myself from it by not watching TV, limiting social media (namely Facebook and Twitter), listening mainly to the gospel music station on the radio. Yet, it seeps through.  How can you not be affected by the murder and mayhem that is dominating our lives right now?

I guess this is why I like to stay home and try to make my home my haven. I want it to be calming and comfortable. My home right now makes me very happy. I haven't hung anything on the walls yet - it typically takes me a while to reach the point where I want to do that and I am still trying to figure out my color scheme.

I need to go to IKEA and poke around there. I dread doing it around the holidays though because IKEA can be very overwhelming. I am still trying to figure out how to organize my closet space which is now stacked with boxes and bins.

I also need to write thank you notes for my Christmas gifts and work on a vision board for 2015.  So far many of my hopes and dreams have come to pass and I need to set new goals. Set my sights higher and ask God to continue to increase my territory. The work that I do is not for me but for HIM.  How can I be of service in way that is honorable to HIM? This is my motivation. Knowing that I touch lives. How can I do more? Can I impact more lives?  This is the big question for 2015.

As I reflect on my years of misery in NY, I wonder why?  Why did I allow myself to suffer so long?  I think it would have taken my life had I stayed. Either I would have been deathly sick (which I had been more frequently) or killed. Or depressed. I think about the days and weeks that I spend holed up in my dark bedroom suffering from depression. Hopeless at times. My life a mess. My apartment a mess. Broke. Defeated. Unappreciated. God turned it all around though. I will never understand how someone could not believe that God is on our side. As much as I have suffered and lost in my life, God has restored me. He has shown me that matter and what I do matters. He has blessed me and rewarded me for my faithfulness. I love the Lord and while I am not perfect I am striving to be more pleasing in HIS eyes. God's love keeps me focused on what is working in my life instead of what is not working. God has truly blessed me in 2013 and 2014. For that I am forever grateful.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goal Setting

-
Had my goal setting meeting with bosses. We are keeping the same goals as last year. I will still casually browse around for a job, but I feel relatively confident that I am safe - for now. Now, my goals for the summer include but aren't limited to: Get my apartment deep cleaned and redecorated Clear out storage unit Travel (even if locally) Take lots of photos: Do a neighborhood project where I shoot different blocks and neighborhoods each day.  Go to Brooklyn - a lot! Go to lots of free concerts Score lots of rush tickets to see Broadway shows Hit the gym, swim, walk, and bike Write, write, write! Get to one of those Korean spas I keep hearing about Stay on top of my pedicures and massages Watch plenty of sunrises and sunsets Get back to living a clean life Rediscover joy Go to the beach - a lot! Laugh - a lot! Get my finances in order Catch up on the magazines that have piled up Catch up on the books that have piled up Takes lots of relaxing baths Have f...
Read more

My baby has crossed the rainbow bridge

-
I know a few of your have been lurking here for years. So you know that I had a sweet little fur baby who I loved very much and who has moved with me from city to city since I've had her. It is with much sadness that I must report that my sweet girl was put to sleep to on Monday. She was getting up in age and had several medical conditions that warranted putting her to sleep. Her quality of life had deteriorated and I was no longer able to care for her the way she needed to be cared for. Her vet wanted her put down a while ago but because I have my issues with grief and abandonment I wasn't ready. I think getting therapy for the short time that I did was helpful with getting me over the hump to move forward. I know it was the right thing to do and she went so peacefully that it helped me know that I made choice.  I miss my girl. I look for her because we have never been apart for long periods of time. There are people who don't understand the connection that humans have to ...
Read more

Took a break

-
I have been so busy trying to keep all of the balls in the air. Then I got sick. I haven't been this sick in a while. My allergies turned into an upper respiratory infection and I am still coughing as I try to clear out my bronchial passages. I've also started juicing to help support the recovery and have lost 15 lbs. I haven't had much of an appetite, so I drink fresh juice from the juice bar to keep my energy up. I could definitely keep this up for a while then transition back into a pescaterian diet. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Read more