I'm up

I have been in a funk lately as you can tell. Just angry, overwhelmed, and frustrated. This weekend it came to a head and I just stewed all weekend long. I had a surprise call from a cousin who is my same field and she is also experiencing the same work related issues after moving from one state to another. It helped to have someone who isn't at work to commiserate with. She promised to stay in touch so we can encourage each other. We will see.

It is the middle of the night and I am wide awake. Why, well because I have been so congested. I had the ongoing ear infection which I doubt the antibiotics helped get rid of. I haven't been back to follow up. I probably should. I think it was related to a sinus infection. I haven't been knocked off my feet by it but it has been ongoing as well. I took decongestants but I am more congested than ever. Saturday I sat in a cold meeting room on a rainy day all day because we were told they couldn't switch the a/c to heat. We just wanted them to turn the air off all together. They didn't and needless to say I started to feel sick since all I had was a blazer.

I took my vitamins to fight it off, but I am still congested. The NP prescribed a nasal spray which I might try since the over the counter one I am using is not doing enough.

Today we had a tornado warning and had to go into shelter in place this afternoon. Pretty scary but turned out to be a false alarm. Just high winds. Tomorrow we are doing the great Shake Out where we practice for an earthquake. Crawling under a table with my bum knee will fun!

Then tomorrow afternoon I have another dentist appointment to handle my long overdue broken tooth. I still have at least more cavity after this to fill and oral surgery to remove my wisdom teeth. I could have had them removed years ago, but was always told not to until they bother me. Now I am being told that I have bone loss related to my wisdom teeth. Great!  My dental coverage pays pretty well but I am still paying close to $100 out of pocket each time I go to the dentist. Fortunately I like this dental office so as long as they treat me well and I know I am working towards having a healthy mouth once again I can deal.

So why am I up?  Well because I took the decongestant not realizing before I bought it that it makes people drowsy. I took one after work because I was so congested and within minutes was nodding like Diana Ross in "Lady Sings the Blues." I gave in and fell asleep. When I woke up I thought it was 1 AM but it was only 11 PM. So it is now 2 AM and I am still awake. I am only working a half day because of my dental appointment so maybe I will be OK. I did all of my prep work yesterday before I left so I wouldn't have to think about it the next day. I am barely been getting to work on time the last couple of weeks. This time change is drawing near and the sun is rising later and later.

Next month I move into my new apartment! I am getting excited because I will have more space and everything is renovated. Hard wood floors, stainless steel appliances, walk in closet, etc. I will need to budget my money better since I will want to buy more furniture, etc. The apartment is in the same building, but facing a different direction (still no real view) and a couple of floors down. I hope I like it better. The rent is higher, of course, so that is also why I am trying to do my best at work so I can continue to earn my annual salary increases.

Saturday I am going to a cooking class that I volunteered for at work. I am being a bitch on one hand, but still doing things that are beyond the call of duty. Mostly because I am interested and want to define my own destiny. For some reason people in power tend to want to steer me in the direction that they want me to go in, but I will always be a rebel at heart.

As difficult as it is I do still like my job and line of work. I just get really frustrated with the bureaucracy of it all. I hate feeling like a pawn in a political game of chess. I will find a way to make it work though. I have to.