I love you doesn't mean I own you
One of the hardest things to do is to love someone without smothering them. I guess because you love them so much and it feels so good that all you want is to keep that feeling to yourself. In the beginning of a relationship all we want is to be around that person who makes us feel good. But at what point does it change?
I have been guilty of smothering love and I have also felt smothered. My longest relationship was about 4-5 years and I definitely felt smothered in that relationship especially toward the end of it. I remember he (my now ex) convinced me to go to a wedding with him after we broke up or were on the verge of breaking up. He introduced me to a guy who I found quite attractive and I don't know what got into me but I started flirting with the guy. Of course my soon to be ex was livid and that was pretty much the final nail in that relationship. While I will admit that what I was did was extremely disrespectful part of the problem was that he thought he owned me.
By the time I started seeing Supastar I learned that love was not ownership. He could come and go as he pleased and we were happy. When he felt that I was trying to control him is when it all fell apart. The real question was when is it control and when is it simply common courtesy to tell the other person if and when you plan to return? I knew I didn't own him. But it didn't stop me from loving him.
I learned that when you love a man (or woman) who is charming, charismatic, outgoing, and popular you don't own that person. You have to be willing to share him (or her) with the world. Free was that type of person as well. He was everyone's friend. You can't own a man like him. But I think his wife and family thought they did. There was a point where he wasn't "allowed" to be on Facebook. Now that he has passed his family has taken control of his page and have removed all of the pictures that he shared. Everyone grieves in their own way. They want to keep him to themselves even in death.
Corinthians 13 tells us:
I have been guilty of smothering love and I have also felt smothered. My longest relationship was about 4-5 years and I definitely felt smothered in that relationship especially toward the end of it. I remember he (my now ex) convinced me to go to a wedding with him after we broke up or were on the verge of breaking up. He introduced me to a guy who I found quite attractive and I don't know what got into me but I started flirting with the guy. Of course my soon to be ex was livid and that was pretty much the final nail in that relationship. While I will admit that what I was did was extremely disrespectful part of the problem was that he thought he owned me.
By the time I started seeing Supastar I learned that love was not ownership. He could come and go as he pleased and we were happy. When he felt that I was trying to control him is when it all fell apart. The real question was when is it control and when is it simply common courtesy to tell the other person if and when you plan to return? I knew I didn't own him. But it didn't stop me from loving him.
I learned that when you love a man (or woman) who is charming, charismatic, outgoing, and popular you don't own that person. You have to be willing to share him (or her) with the world. Free was that type of person as well. He was everyone's friend. You can't own a man like him. But I think his wife and family thought they did. There was a point where he wasn't "allowed" to be on Facebook. Now that he has passed his family has taken control of his page and have removed all of the pictures that he shared. Everyone grieves in their own way. They want to keep him to themselves even in death.
Corinthians 13 tells us:
If I do not have love, then I am nothing. 3 I may give away everything I have, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burned.[b] But I gain nothing if I do not have love.
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. 5 Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. 6 Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. 7 Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.
8 Love never ends.
13 So these three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love.
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