Found treasures

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Found beauty today
I have been on vacation all week and it has gone by so quickly. I had a full list of things to do. I accomplished many but there are others that will need to carry over into the next break I get or just need to be handled whenever I can get to them. I honestly wouldn't mind one more week to finish everything, but on the other hand I can't stand the down time. It makes me realize who incredibly alone I am. I have time to think and feel.  The loneliness cloaks me and wraps around me until I can't breathe.

I have been trying to decide if I am going to move or not. I have had a lot of problems where I am and I should move, but it is too soon so I might extend my lease for a few more months until I can get everything sorted out. I went for a long drive today. Well, the intention was to look for furniture because I haven't even furnished this place. Anyway, considering the fact that it is Easter and a Sunday everything had closed by the time I go out of the house. So I just drove down roads and thought.

I thought about moving and really getting my self established. I figured that if I budgeted $2K I would be able to get a few pieces of furniture to help my residence become more of a home. You know I have issues with commitment and laying roots down. Yet,I have to. My life is a mess. I am a mess. These band-aid solutions aren't working. I need to make major commitments to my health and well-being. To my lifestyle. To my career. To my family and friends. I have no attachments to anything and my life reflects that in so many ways.

I lived in NYC for 15 years but I was not committed to that city. I lived in my apartment for 10 years and never bought new furniture. I will do better this time around. I will establish myself and commit to living life as an adult. I will have to clean out my storage unit and ship what is still of value here. I am committed to settling down and returning to the essence of who I am. I lost my way at some point. But I will make my way back to life and love.

So, for a bit of irony, I went out furniture shopping and failed. But when I got home someone had thrown out a perfect chair to replace the cheap IKEA one that broke. Another found treasure. I will continue to collect them, but I will also invest in my own so I will have a nice mix of found treasures and new furniture. I am aiming for balance in my life. One day at a time.

Comments

  1. TJ9:27 AM

    It sounds like you have had time to rest and reflect and that is always a good thing. That picture looks awesome, btw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Berry4:45 PM

      Yes, I love the park and it is literally steps away from my apartment. So peaceful and beautiful.

      Delete

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