Today I feel...

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...sad. I feel sad today for some reason. I don't know what to attribute it to. The fact that the holidays are over? The gloomy cold weather?  My hormones? The fact that I am going back to work after such a restful and relaxing vacation? The realization that people are just mean for no good reason? I hate to feel this way. I don't want to be reluctant about returning to work. I don't want to be scrutinized and judged. I want to be excited about coming back with fresh ideas, but I haven't thought about work since I walked out the door in December.

I know that I need my freedom. I know that I need to be able to support myself without having a job/career that locks me in all day and controls my life. I know this because I lived in a way that gave me flexibility for many years. And I was happy. But I didn't have the luxuries that I have now. I have to find a way to have both...perhaps marry into money so that I can live a life where I can create and volunteer.

But there is also some anxiety mixed in.  A nervous energy that is not excitement or anticipation. I just feel very strange today and wish that my nerves would calm down.

 I have no huge proclamations about 2014. I probably will not even be creating a vision board. I will journal since my good friend bought me a beautiful journal for Christmas. And I can't seem to function without documenting my journey. There is something about writing in long hand that is therapeutic to me. Speaking of therapeutic that is what my plan was for today...to get a massage, and a mani-pedi. It is still early in the day and the weather hasn't turned bad yet so I might wander out to do that.

I do want to make these wishes for 2014: that I continue to increase my health and well-being, that I continue to be grateful for my blessings, that I continue to grow as a person, that God continues to expand my territory, and that I travel to Europe and the Caribbean before the year ends.

I think I am going to soak in the tub by candle light and try to shake off these blues or take another nap. I will definitely miss these naps. 

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