I love you Porgy: Attracting the relationships that you deserve.
Last night I went to see Porgy & Bess. I am familiar with the 1959 version because my mother loved it so much she had the album and I would listen and sing along with it growing up. I knew "Summertime" long before Fantasia sang it on "American Idol". I didn't know all of the facets of the story and so I am glad that I finally saw it. I would have paid good money to see Sammy Davis, Jr. playing Sportin' Life, Dorothy Dandrige as Bess and Sidney Poitier as Porgy. Pearl Bailey, Diahann Carroll and Brock Peters. Good gracious that had to be a fantastic show! This performance was just eh. I don't know if I have been spoiled by New York theater, if the energy was low, or what. I did make a connection between Porgy & Bess and Carmen. A lot of the same themes running through both stories. Interesting. I would love to write an analysis of it like I used to do in college.
I rocked Bantu knots for the first time in my life and it was kind of liberating. If Rihanna can rock a Dominican Doobie to accept an award than I can rock Bantu knots to go to a play. After the show I went to dinner. I hadn't eaten beforehand so my stomach was growling throughout the second act. Dinner was also pretty eh. I have yet to find a place that blows my socks off here. I also find that dining alone here is not the same as say New York or even San Francisco. I also don't like the fact that the city seems to shut down during the holidays. Like, people clear out of here! I guess I will have to also. I think I already mentioned that I plan to be in Paris by next Christmas. I have set that intention.
Speaking of setting intentions, Oprah and Deepak have offered a bonus 10 day meditation series called "Miraculous Relationships". Oprah said something that totally clicked with me: "now that we've done the work to understand and become we are at our very core, we begin to see and attract others who are made up of that same loving energy."
This resonates with me because as I've said, I've been quite lonely. Yet, the people who have stayed true to me are the people who exhibit the energy that Oprah speaks about. Still, I haven't been whole enough to accept the loving acts of kindness from others. I allowed myself to be broken, stepped on, and abused which left me depleted. So it is a blessing to have this time to rejuvenate, reflect, and reconnect.
The meditation hones in on manifesting the types of relationships that I desire. Often when we are lonely we accept whomever comes along (case in point is Porgy & Bess, a relationship of convenience). This meditation series is about setting the intention so that the love that I am putting out is being reciprocated. The mantra for the meditation is "I attract that which I am" which is kind of scary to put out into the Universe because you have to be very clear about what you are! You don't want to attract the wrong energy or relationships. Deepak specifically says in the meditation, "you feel safe, supported, and cherished." Yes! Yes! Yes! He goes to say "feel the kindness, caring, and compassion you have in all relationships." Yes, please! I am so tired of being at war with the world and not understanding why I constantly seem to be swimming against the current when what I want is affection, thoughtfulness, and generosity. But, my issue is that I must also learn to accept these acts of kindness and compassion. I have been know to push them away and hold them at arm's length and this is where I fail at attracting love into my life. Deepak suggests opening you heart to joy, feeling accepted, and accepting. As someone who has been teased, judged, and excluded for most of her life, this is a challenge.
As I closed my eyes to perform the meditation I saw myself feeling this way at the Art Museum in Roslyn which one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I have ever been. We were sitting outside eating lunch and just relaxed and happy to be there instead of the dirty, noisy city.
As I performed the meditation and saw myself in Supastar's arms being held and kissed, I remembered how it felt when Free used to bring me flowers at work, when Mel planned a surprise party for me, and the kindness that Kira showed me when we worked together. Kindness, thoughtfulness, and acceptance. No wonder I have been so miserable. I haven't felt it in so long. How is it possible to live a life devoid of love for so long?
I think about "Nina's Poem" in the movie Love Jones and those final words, " I am remembering love."
I rocked Bantu knots for the first time in my life and it was kind of liberating. If Rihanna can rock a Dominican Doobie to accept an award than I can rock Bantu knots to go to a play. After the show I went to dinner. I hadn't eaten beforehand so my stomach was growling throughout the second act. Dinner was also pretty eh. I have yet to find a place that blows my socks off here. I also find that dining alone here is not the same as say New York or even San Francisco. I also don't like the fact that the city seems to shut down during the holidays. Like, people clear out of here! I guess I will have to also. I think I already mentioned that I plan to be in Paris by next Christmas. I have set that intention.
Speaking of setting intentions, Oprah and Deepak have offered a bonus 10 day meditation series called "Miraculous Relationships". Oprah said something that totally clicked with me: "now that we've done the work to understand and become we are at our very core, we begin to see and attract others who are made up of that same loving energy."
This resonates with me because as I've said, I've been quite lonely. Yet, the people who have stayed true to me are the people who exhibit the energy that Oprah speaks about. Still, I haven't been whole enough to accept the loving acts of kindness from others. I allowed myself to be broken, stepped on, and abused which left me depleted. So it is a blessing to have this time to rejuvenate, reflect, and reconnect.
The meditation hones in on manifesting the types of relationships that I desire. Often when we are lonely we accept whomever comes along (case in point is Porgy & Bess, a relationship of convenience). This meditation series is about setting the intention so that the love that I am putting out is being reciprocated. The mantra for the meditation is "I attract that which I am" which is kind of scary to put out into the Universe because you have to be very clear about what you are! You don't want to attract the wrong energy or relationships. Deepak specifically says in the meditation, "you feel safe, supported, and cherished." Yes! Yes! Yes! He goes to say "feel the kindness, caring, and compassion you have in all relationships." Yes, please! I am so tired of being at war with the world and not understanding why I constantly seem to be swimming against the current when what I want is affection, thoughtfulness, and generosity. But, my issue is that I must also learn to accept these acts of kindness and compassion. I have been know to push them away and hold them at arm's length and this is where I fail at attracting love into my life. Deepak suggests opening you heart to joy, feeling accepted, and accepting. As someone who has been teased, judged, and excluded for most of her life, this is a challenge.
As I closed my eyes to perform the meditation I saw myself feeling this way at the Art Museum in Roslyn which one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I have ever been. We were sitting outside eating lunch and just relaxed and happy to be there instead of the dirty, noisy city.
As I performed the meditation and saw myself in Supastar's arms being held and kissed, I remembered how it felt when Free used to bring me flowers at work, when Mel planned a surprise party for me, and the kindness that Kira showed me when we worked together. Kindness, thoughtfulness, and acceptance. No wonder I have been so miserable. I haven't felt it in so long. How is it possible to live a life devoid of love for so long?
I think about "Nina's Poem" in the movie Love Jones and those final words, " I am remembering love."
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