Loss

-
A coworker lost her 10 month old baby to the flu yesterday. How does anyone comprehend that? How does one ever get over that kind of a loss? I can't imagine how much pain she must be in right to lose her first and only child. I can imagine the guilt she feels for returning to work so soon. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't come back to work.

I would want to curl up in a ball and never get up again. That is how I was when my mother died. I would sleep and want to stay in that place, never having to deal with the reality of the situation. My aunt wasn't having it. She didn't allow me go into that place as long as she was around. We had arrangements to make so that she could go on with her life.

I already suffered from depression so losing my mother was a huge blow. As soon as I started to come out of that loss then my brother died. I spiraled. How do you go on when you lose someone who meant the world to you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Goal Setting

-
Had my goal setting meeting with bosses. We are keeping the same goals as last year. I will still casually browse around for a job, but I feel relatively confident that I am safe - for now. Now, my goals for the summer include but aren't limited to: Get my apartment deep cleaned and redecorated Clear out storage unit Travel (even if locally) Take lots of photos: Do a neighborhood project where I shoot different blocks and neighborhoods each day.  Go to Brooklyn - a lot! Go to lots of free concerts Score lots of rush tickets to see Broadway shows Hit the gym, swim, walk, and bike Write, write, write! Get to one of those Korean spas I keep hearing about Stay on top of my pedicures and massages Watch plenty of sunrises and sunsets Get back to living a clean life Rediscover joy Go to the beach - a lot! Laugh - a lot! Get my finances in order Catch up on the magazines that have piled up Catch up on the books that have piled up Takes lots of relaxing baths Have f...
Read more

My baby has crossed the rainbow bridge

-
I know a few of your have been lurking here for years. So you know that I had a sweet little fur baby who I loved very much and who has moved with me from city to city since I've had her. It is with much sadness that I must report that my sweet girl was put to sleep to on Monday. She was getting up in age and had several medical conditions that warranted putting her to sleep. Her quality of life had deteriorated and I was no longer able to care for her the way she needed to be cared for. Her vet wanted her put down a while ago but because I have my issues with grief and abandonment I wasn't ready. I think getting therapy for the short time that I did was helpful with getting me over the hump to move forward. I know it was the right thing to do and she went so peacefully that it helped me know that I made choice.  I miss my girl. I look for her because we have never been apart for long periods of time. There are people who don't understand the connection that humans have to ...
Read more

Took a break

-
I have been so busy trying to keep all of the balls in the air. Then I got sick. I haven't been this sick in a while. My allergies turned into an upper respiratory infection and I am still coughing as I try to clear out my bronchial passages. I've also started juicing to help support the recovery and have lost 15 lbs. I haven't had much of an appetite, so I drink fresh juice from the juice bar to keep my energy up. I could definitely keep this up for a while then transition back into a pescaterian diet. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Read more