Not Fitting the Mold
If I told you my weekly schedule you probably wouldn't believe me. I'd have to draw up a diagram and who has time for that?
Fortunately, my day gig is going to be relaxed for the next week which means I can focus on my outside activities. [insert hustler music here]
So, while I was riding the uptown train this evening I saw one of those chicks. You know, one of those chicks that fit the mold. Some little, light cute girl who grew up middle class and fits the mold. She was probably in Jack & Jill and her mom was probably a Link. She was probably a debutante and always dated the "right" guy. She is the exact opposite of me. I never fit the mold.
I was never the right size. Never the right color. Never the right income bracket. Never the right family make up. I never wore the right brands. I never dated the guys who would be "somebody" at the 20 year reunion. It seemed that no matter how I tried to bump my style or how much education I got; no matter what fancy job I snagged, college I attended, sorority I pledge, guy I dated; I never fit the mold.
I was ordinary. Probably too ordinary. I was never the little girl everyone fawned over and cooed "oh you are so cute!" It was always the little light girls with the cute clothes who got those compliments. If I remember correctly, it seems that I was often overlooked. More than likely a nuisance. So I tried to stay quiet and out of the way. I never had an opinion on anything until I was well into college. I stayed in trouble as a kid so I just tried to stay to myself and read.
One thing I've learned from my childhood is to be very careful what you mentally feed to a child because they will buy it and hold onto it for life. Some of the things my mother told me dug deeply into my brain and rooted into my subconscious. Children don't always need to know the reality of racism, biases and plain ole' ignorance. Parents should not project their insecurities on their children.
No matter how much I do I will never fit the mold. But then there are so many others who never fit the mold either...Oprah, Maya Angelou, Nina Simone, Dinah Washington, etc.
Maybe I should forget about fitting into the mold and start breaking some.
Speaking of breaking molds, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the passing of a wonderful journalist and role model, Ed Bradley. Sleep well.
Fortunately, my day gig is going to be relaxed for the next week which means I can focus on my outside activities. [insert hustler music here]
So, while I was riding the uptown train this evening I saw one of those chicks. You know, one of those chicks that fit the mold. Some little, light cute girl who grew up middle class and fits the mold. She was probably in Jack & Jill and her mom was probably a Link. She was probably a debutante and always dated the "right" guy. She is the exact opposite of me. I never fit the mold.
I was never the right size. Never the right color. Never the right income bracket. Never the right family make up. I never wore the right brands. I never dated the guys who would be "somebody" at the 20 year reunion. It seemed that no matter how I tried to bump my style or how much education I got; no matter what fancy job I snagged, college I attended, sorority I pledge, guy I dated; I never fit the mold.
I was ordinary. Probably too ordinary. I was never the little girl everyone fawned over and cooed "oh you are so cute!" It was always the little light girls with the cute clothes who got those compliments. If I remember correctly, it seems that I was often overlooked. More than likely a nuisance. So I tried to stay quiet and out of the way. I never had an opinion on anything until I was well into college. I stayed in trouble as a kid so I just tried to stay to myself and read.
One thing I've learned from my childhood is to be very careful what you mentally feed to a child because they will buy it and hold onto it for life. Some of the things my mother told me dug deeply into my brain and rooted into my subconscious. Children don't always need to know the reality of racism, biases and plain ole' ignorance. Parents should not project their insecurities on their children.
No matter how much I do I will never fit the mold. But then there are so many others who never fit the mold either...Oprah, Maya Angelou, Nina Simone, Dinah Washington, etc.
Maybe I should forget about fitting into the mold and start breaking some.
Speaking of breaking molds, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the passing of a wonderful journalist and role model, Ed Bradley. Sleep well.
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