1 Venti Please
No, I'm not talking about a coffee, I am talking about needing to vent. I have so many things bottle up that I feel I will explode when least expected. Right now I am on a slow simmer but I know myself well enough to know that I am almost at the boiling point.
Should I snap on someone and release this pent up energy?
Treat myself to a mani-pedi and massage even though my budget says otherwise?
Keep being walked all over and hope this feeling goes away?
Drink a bottle of wine and call it a night?
All of the above?
And why does my kitten act like my hard headed child? And why do I push myself to the breaking point and then drop out of society because I am so burned out?
The reality is that I really just want to go away. I need to get away. But I'm stuck here. I felt like things were going along well then it seemed I lost control. I wouldn't consider myself a control freak but lately I've felt that I've lost my voice. I am surrounded by people who are unreasonable and they are killing my spirit.
The way I avoid confrontation is to shut down but it's killing my spirit. I don't want to be mad and unset all the time. I spent too many years in my past being angry all the time. I spent too many years being bullied.
I know that I just need to open my mouth and say something. To push back but confrontation is so unpleasant. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I want to take the easy route and just walk away. To shut it all down, lock myself in and hide. But I have the right to be respected, to be heard and to be treated the same way I treat them. What happened to the Golden Rule? What kind of rule is it when no one pays it any heed? Useless.
Thanks for reading my mental babble.
For your listening pleasure [insert here]
Should I snap on someone and release this pent up energy?
Treat myself to a mani-pedi and massage even though my budget says otherwise?
Keep being walked all over and hope this feeling goes away?
Drink a bottle of wine and call it a night?
All of the above?
And why does my kitten act like my hard headed child? And why do I push myself to the breaking point and then drop out of society because I am so burned out?
The reality is that I really just want to go away. I need to get away. But I'm stuck here. I felt like things were going along well then it seemed I lost control. I wouldn't consider myself a control freak but lately I've felt that I've lost my voice. I am surrounded by people who are unreasonable and they are killing my spirit.
The way I avoid confrontation is to shut down but it's killing my spirit. I don't want to be mad and unset all the time. I spent too many years in my past being angry all the time. I spent too many years being bullied.
I know that I just need to open my mouth and say something. To push back but confrontation is so unpleasant. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I want to take the easy route and just walk away. To shut it all down, lock myself in and hide. But I have the right to be respected, to be heard and to be treated the same way I treat them. What happened to the Golden Rule? What kind of rule is it when no one pays it any heed? Useless.
Thanks for reading my mental babble.
For your listening pleasure [insert here]
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