Someone please dial 311

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Um, yah! These gems come courtesy of today's Daily News:

Some 311 callers have their wires crossed


BY LISA L. COLANGELO
DAILY NEWS CITY HALL BUREAU
When New Yorkers have a question, Mayor Bloomberg tells them to call 311.

Well, they do — and not all the questions are about the city.

One caller wanted to know the capital of the world, while another wanted to know if there is a law saying how often you can flush the toilet.

"We tell people to call 911 for emergencies and 311 for everything else," said Sarah Knapp, assistant commissioner for 311 program management and strategic planning. "Some people take it to the next level."

Here's a sample of some unusual dialogue:


    • One caller wanted to make a noise complaint about the motor on her refrigerator.


    • Another caller: "How do you spell 12?"


    • Caller: "I would like to apply for the lifeguard job."


    • 311: "I'd be happy to connect you with [the Parks Department]. Is there anything else I can assist you with?"


    • Caller: "Do they teach you how to swim?"


    • "Are you cute?"


    • "Can I get your telephone number?"


    • "Is there a radio station broadcasting the World Cup?"


    • During the New Jersey government shutdown, a caller wanted to know if the casinos were open in Atlantic City and what he should do with his chips.


    • "Can I use my Medicaid card to take my cat to get surgery?"


    • "Is Earth considered a planet?"


    • "Why can't I claim my dog on my income taxes?"


    • "How do you keep the bees from flying in the backyard?"


    • "I don't know why I'm calling this number. Where am I calling?"

    Originally published on September 21, 2006

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