Once Upon a Tart
Yesterday I was treated to lunch from a little shop called Once Upon A Tart. I had a wonderful mixed green salad and a veggie tart. It was actually enough for both lunch and dinner.
Those of you who have read me since the beginning (cool points to the first person who remembers the name of first blog) and know me in person know that I don't tell fairy tales unless I am reading them from a book to a group of babies sitting Indian style on the floor.
So, when I write something here it is pretty much my reality. How it is interpreted by the reader is their issue, not mine. That is reason memoirs are so controversial. I guess this could be considered a memoir of sorts. A collection of events and feelings. Journeys, adventures, remembrances. Sunny days and rainy nights. Joy and pain. Love and loss.
Right now I am in a situation where I really want to make a move. I also have nothing holding me back...but myself. I am in that place where new beginnings and endings intersect. Where you either must stop, go, yield or merge. Only problem, there is no sign directing me. So I'm stuck in park trying to decide which path to take.
Interesting because I was pretty much in the same state this time last year. I have let another year slip past and haven't made that commitment. The one that my friend (La) insists won't wait for ever. And she is right...I know it in my heart. I feel it is time to just pull out into traffic and press on the gas. My issue is I always want everything in order...my problem is that it is never completely in order. My uncle sent me the following today that emphasizes the point.
It really bothered me that I wouldn't spend his birthday with him. I am at the point where I don't want to spend another year on opposite ends of the country. And all that stuff that has gone unspoken really needs to be out in the open so we can move forward.
And so all of this is weighing heavy on my mind because the invitation has been extended but I've been too scared to accept it. And I know what I have to do because now there are other options coming up around me but I don't want to even consider them for fear of losing out on what I have already. I've done it in the past and don't really want to go there again. But there is one thing holding me back. Starts with an F and ends with ear. It's time to fling open the doors and quit hiding in the shadows.
And this post wasn't meant for anyone to understand what I am saying because I really just needed to get these thoughts out of my head. Just know that if I stop blogging one day it is because I am finally living my tale of Once upon a time. Tamia sang a song, called "Smile" where she said "dreams come true arent for girls like me not like me." I've spent a lifetime believing that ... until he helped me believe otherwise. And it wasn't in his words...it was in his actions. The way he looks at me, speaks to me, holds me. How I can be across the room and his eyes are on me. How I am the first one on his mind and he doesn't have a problem letting me know that in words and actions. How I don't have to look like Halle Berry to be worthy of his love, time and attention. That is what makes him a supastar in my eyes. And unless you know his heart the way I do you might think the outer shell is what makes the man but it doesn't. It is what is inside that matters most to me. So it's time to let go and stop buying time.
I know it sounds ultra corny but sometimes God places people in your life who you wouldn't expect. I wasn't expecting him but he appeared, he stayed and he is still here. And I'm still here. And we need to be in the here and now together.
Edit: You see the problem with putting statements like this into the universe is that sometimes they happen. So yeah, this is happening sooner than I expected but I'm ready. I told you something wonderful was about to happen. I felt it. But, if you don't hear from me just know that it is because I am off living happily ever after. The end.
tag: tart ::
Those of you who have read me since the beginning (cool points to the first person who remembers the name of first blog) and know me in person know that I don't tell fairy tales unless I am reading them from a book to a group of babies sitting Indian style on the floor.
So, when I write something here it is pretty much my reality. How it is interpreted by the reader is their issue, not mine. That is reason memoirs are so controversial. I guess this could be considered a memoir of sorts. A collection of events and feelings. Journeys, adventures, remembrances. Sunny days and rainy nights. Joy and pain. Love and loss.
Right now I am in a situation where I really want to make a move. I also have nothing holding me back...but myself. I am in that place where new beginnings and endings intersect. Where you either must stop, go, yield or merge. Only problem, there is no sign directing me. So I'm stuck in park trying to decide which path to take.
Interesting because I was pretty much in the same state this time last year. I have let another year slip past and haven't made that commitment. The one that my friend (La) insists won't wait for ever. And she is right...I know it in my heart. I feel it is time to just pull out into traffic and press on the gas. My issue is I always want everything in order...my problem is that it is never completely in order. My uncle sent me the following today that emphasizes the point.
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she replied.
"He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in" "We do not go into a House together," they replied. "Why is that?" she asked. One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!" His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!" "Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest" Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him.
Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?" The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.
Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success."
It really bothered me that I wouldn't spend his birthday with him. I am at the point where I don't want to spend another year on opposite ends of the country. And all that stuff that has gone unspoken really needs to be out in the open so we can move forward.
And so all of this is weighing heavy on my mind because the invitation has been extended but I've been too scared to accept it. And I know what I have to do because now there are other options coming up around me but I don't want to even consider them for fear of losing out on what I have already. I've done it in the past and don't really want to go there again. But there is one thing holding me back. Starts with an F and ends with ear. It's time to fling open the doors and quit hiding in the shadows.
And this post wasn't meant for anyone to understand what I am saying because I really just needed to get these thoughts out of my head. Just know that if I stop blogging one day it is because I am finally living my tale of Once upon a time. Tamia sang a song, called "Smile" where she said "dreams come true arent for girls like me not like me." I've spent a lifetime believing that ... until he helped me believe otherwise. And it wasn't in his words...it was in his actions. The way he looks at me, speaks to me, holds me. How I can be across the room and his eyes are on me. How I am the first one on his mind and he doesn't have a problem letting me know that in words and actions. How I don't have to look like Halle Berry to be worthy of his love, time and attention. That is what makes him a supastar in my eyes. And unless you know his heart the way I do you might think the outer shell is what makes the man but it doesn't. It is what is inside that matters most to me. So it's time to let go and stop buying time.
I know it sounds ultra corny but sometimes God places people in your life who you wouldn't expect. I wasn't expecting him but he appeared, he stayed and he is still here. And I'm still here. And we need to be in the here and now together.
Edit: You see the problem with putting statements like this into the universe is that sometimes they happen. So yeah, this is happening sooner than I expected but I'm ready. I told you something wonderful was about to happen. I felt it. But, if you don't hear from me just know that it is because I am off living happily ever after. The end.
tag: tart ::
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