Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

I am in a meh mood so I will just bullet point my thoughts and feelings. Over it all.  Hoping for the best but strangely I might actually feel a sense of relief should the worst happen. Tired of this roller coaster ride.  Unmotivated.  Nothing left to give. 

Another sunny but cool spring morning. I can function with my coffee and a bit of sun. I woke up earlier than I thought. I have a lot to do today since I didn't do anything yesterday. I weighed in and saw I had gained back a couple of pounds so I need to get back to exercising and eating better. Yesterday, I actually was productive. I went through my finances and set my financial goals for the rest of this year and next year. The goal this year is to pay off all credit. The goal next year is to use the money that was going toward interest to invest in retirement savings. I am hoping, wishing, and praying that I get my pay increase, and I will also have the money from the assignment over the summer. I just paid everything down to 50% and next check I will pay off my smaller bills (God willing.) That should bring me closer to 40% (I hope) and my credit score should continue to rise. I'm also working to get something old taken off of my credit report which is impacting my scor...

I just realized what I have been missing in my career. A mentor! I have sought out mentors since 2009 and I have been sorely disappointed. I find that women especially are not willing to mentor other women and that is sad. Of course, I have always been closer to men than to women so perhaps that was an overly generalized statement on my part. Yet, finding a mentor is exactly what I need at this point in my career to push me over the top and into the next stage.

I am planning to take a trip for my birthday. I already requested the day off and started mentally making plans. My issue is that I have trouble committing to anything and everything. So, instead of my locking in my reservations and arrangements ahead of time I did what I do best...I procrastinated. So it looks like I will take the bus up from work and catch the bus back. Not my favorite mode of transportation but it is cheap and relatively convenient. Not sure what that weekend is so packed with travelers considering it isn't a holiday. Even when I looked ahead of time for reservations they were about the same so whatever. Anyhow, just to provide extra insurance that I will actually go I made my reservations and will leave from work. I made a hair appointment on my birthday and I am still planning out the other activities. Just going somewhere will be an accomplishment though. It has rained here for more than two weeks straight and I was slowly dying. All I wanted to do was sl...

Good Morning, I woke up early and decided to use the extra time to go downstairs to the gym to burn some calories. My legs were still sore from earlier this week so I didn't include an incline. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill and then a few minutes on the elliptical. I have to build up my stamina on that bad boy. I also did some arm exercises. I still have a lot of muscle tone and it is just a matter of burning off the layers of fat to define them. I think I have finally reached that place mentally where I realize that I have to make some major life changes. I've been blessed in that my weight hasn't had a severe impact on my health -- yet. I am a resilient somebody. I am starting to realize how much strength I actually have. I am finally starting to see myself as others see me both positively and negatively. I think the fact that I am spiritually intoned with myself helps a lot. I have come a long way, baby. I really could have gone down a different road in life. I...

apparently i have decided that it is time. time for me to make that change. yesterday i went for walk through the park then back up through the zoo then home. that hike up the hill in the zoo is a decent incline but i went non stop. i am so proud of how strong i have gotten. there was a time when i couldn't do much of anything. i really felt like i was dying. motivated by what i could do i came home even after working late and changed right into my gym clothes and went to the gym. i did 30 mins on the treadmill and burned 250 calories. i guess they helps burn off the cheesecake i had last night. baby steps. on another note i was selected for a job this summer that might help me move up to where i want to be but i am on the fence about it. i have to decide by friday. i updated my resume noting that i have been selected for various leadership positions and committees this year and last. so despite all of the tomfoolery that i have had to tolerate i am still a star. i plan to go to ...