Blessings, affirmations, grace, and reflection

I feel my heart, face, and outlook softening. It is the combination of enough sleep, healthier eating habits, lots of sun, and the time to do what I love.  I want to be able to maintain this feeling through the fall and winter, but about 6 weeks into the winter I begin to emotionally hibernate. I really need to find a job that allows me to indulge in my joys more often and/or need to move to a state where I can get more sun, more often. Please let the economy improve so I can move forward. I won't complain because I am blessed to have a job and to have this time off, but it will be hard to get back to business when I know that something else brings joy to my heart and peace to my spirit. Let me remain open and pliable to all new possibilities and opportunities.

People often wonder why I don’t attend more social events in Harlem. Primary reason is that New Yorkers are notorious for sizing you up within the first 3 seconds of meeting you. If they determine you aren’t on their level they can be aloof and downright rude. I know who I am and don’t need the approval of people who think that they are more than they are. We all have unique qualities that make us God’s children. If you can’t take the time to find that out then that is your issue, not mine. Everyone in New York is so self-important, but all you do is build a community of pretentious and contrived interactions. The name dropping gets old fast!

We have had temps 90 degrees and above just about every day this month. I haven't been sleeping for about as long. I stay up until the sun rises. Then I sleep through until I get too hot and have to find someplace cool. Today temps are expected to be close to 100 degrees - hot & humid. I have no contingency plan. Oh boy!

I've come to realize that I really come alive in the summer. I have more energy, a better outlook, function better, and I am radiant. So why am I living in a place where close to half the year is winter?  Not that I am a fan of weather that is too hot, and the change of seasons is a beautiful phenomena, but I see that I need to be in a place that helps me be a better me. It is time to move on...again. Looking for greener pastures, brighter days, and new opportunities to feed my spirit.

It occurred to me today that people truly are very fragile. We have to be careful how we treat each other. Something that is a non-issue for me could dredge up some deep-rooted childhood issues for someone else. For example, I was thinking of a mutual friend from high school. One day I kept her waiting too long and she left. The fact is that time management is something that I have struggled with since childhood. As a matter of fact, it is an ingrained childhood habit that I picked up from my mother and have fought to overcome my entire adult life. So it was not a big deal on my end to ask her to wait a few extra minutes. I've come to realize, now that time has passed, that it might have been a huge deal for her. She has abandonment issues and while she was waiting she said she kept thinking "she's not coming."  In retrospect, it was very selfish of me to keep her waiting. I now realize the importance of being prompt, so as not to cause others anxiety. I always unders...